The Mystery Triplets - Season 1
by LittleMissFangirl12
Summary: When triplet siblings, Dipper, Mabel, and Ana Pines, are shipped off to spend the summer with their great uncle, "Grunkle" Stan in a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, they uncover a mysterious journal and discover that Gravity Falls is not what it seems.
1. Tourist Trapped

**Tourist Trapped**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

_Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking it easy... Unless you happen to be me._

A white golf cart crashed through the town's "Welcome to Gravity Falls!" sign, carrying three young teenagers inside, all of them screaming for their lives as they fell through the air.

The girl holding a baseball bat in the back of the cart glanced back at the approaching monster. She twisted back to the front, and swept her curly, brown locks out of her face. "DIPPER! CAN'T YOU DRIVE ANY FASTER?!" She shouted to be heard over the roars of the beast and the screams of the other passengers. She wore blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt, red converse, and a silver necklace with a llama pendant around her neck.

The driver gripped the wheel harder. "I CAN'T WITHOUT KILLING US IN THE PROCESS!" He retaliated. The boy had curly brown hair like the first girl, brown eyes, and he wore a simple orange t-shirt with a dark blue vest, gray shorts, and black sneakers.

"CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP SO WE CAN CONTINUE SCREAMING FOR OUR LIVES?!" The other female in the cart yelled over the noise. She wore a sparkly purple sweater with a cat on it, a mint green skirt, black ballet slippers with white socks, and a green headband in her long, straight brown hair.

_My name is Ana. The slowpoke driving is my brother, Dipper. And the girl about to puke? That's Mabel, my sister. You may be wondering what three kids like us are doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror._

"SERIOUSLY?!" Ana yelled as the creature paused for a couple of seconds to throw a pine tree in front of the cart.

"LOOK OUT!" Mabel yelled as Dipper tried to swerve.

_Rest assured, there's a somewhat logical explanation for this. Let's rewind. I guess it all started when our parents decided that we needed some 'fresh air', so they shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon to stay at our great uncle's place in the woods._

Ana groaned as she face planted onto one of the three beds in the dusty attic, letting her backpack slide off of her back and onto the floor with a thud. It had been a long bus ride, with Mabel singing along with her annoying 80s songs and Dipper's constant muttering as he read. By the time they got off the bus, she was ready to murder them.

"This attic is amazing!" Mabel marveled as she hung up all of her posters from home. "Check out all of my splinters!"

Ana didn't bother to move from her position. "First aid kit is in Dipper's suitcase." She said, but it was muffled due to the mattress.

"Aaaannnd there's a goat eating Ana's bag on my bed." Dipper sighed exasperatedly.

"Wait what?!" Ana shot up, and sure enough, there was a fluffy, brown and white goat nibbling on her backpack. "Hey, hey, hey!" She leapt off her bed, marched over to Dipper's third of the room, and grabbed ahold of her bag. "Let. Go. Of it. You. Stupid. Goat!" She growled as she wrestled Gompers.

Mabel gasped dramatically and ran to the goat's aid. "Ana, Gompers is our friend!" She scolded lightly. "Hey friend!" Gompers immediately left the backpack for her sweater. "Oh! Yes you can keep chewing on my sweater!" She giggled.

_Mabel is the optimist of our little trio. She always looks on the brighter side of things, including being forced to spend a whole summer without cell phone service or the Internet._

"Oh my gosh! Guys, look! A hill!" Mabel exclaimed the first time we went to explore our new surroundings.

"So?" Dipper asked, sitting down against a nearby tree.

"Sooooooo we can roll down it like we used to do when we were younger!" She sprinted up to the top of the hill, laid down, and began to roll. "Yay! Grass!" She yelled as she passed us.

_Dipper is the smart one. He has a scientific explanation for everything, and he uses words that only vocabulary books and dictionaries use. But, he isn't exactly a people person, making it harder for him to adapt to our new surroundings._

_And me? I don't really know, to be honest. I love to read and I'm in the smarter classes at school, but I'm not really nerdy. I also like hanging out with guys and doing "guy stuff", but I also like makeup and clothes and cute guys, which makes me kind of a blend of a girly-girl and a tomboy._

Dipper was too preoccupied with his book to notice the woodpecker on his head or mask wearing figure creeping up behind him. "Boo!" The figure yelled causing Dipper to scream and fall over. The figure laughed at poor Dipper as he removed the mask, revealing an old man wearing a black suit.

_And then there was our Great Uncle or "Grunkle" Stan. That guy. He transformed his house into a tourist trap that he called "The Mystery Shack". The real mystery is why anyone bothered to come._

Ana watched as Stan led a group of tourists across the room, showing them a ton of obviously fake items. "Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The Sascrotch!" The Sascrotch, was just a fake gorilla wearing a pair of whitey-tighties, but the idiots, excuse me, tourists, ate it up and snapped pictures.

_And guess who had to work there._

Ana turned away from the small group and continued placing price tags onto items in the gift shop. "Ooh!" Mabel gasped, reaching for a glass eyeball on the table, but stopping once Grunkle Stan slapped her hand with his 8-ball cane.

"No touching the merchandise." He ordered.

_It looked like it was going to be the same boring routine all summer, until one fateful day..._

* * *

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" Mabel whispered-yelled, clutching Ana's arm and shaking it until she looked up.

Ana peeked through the Stan-bobbleheads and at a random boy opening a note. "Uh.. Do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely?" He read, glancing around the shop before leaving.

"I rigged it!" Mabel told Ana.

Ana brought her hand up to her forehead. "That's not how it works, Mabel."

"Mabel, I know that you're going through your whole 'boy crazy' phase, but I think that you're overdoing it with the 'crazy' part." Dipper wiped a fish tank clean.

"Whhaaatt? Come ON guys!" Mabel turned towards Dipper and blew a raspberry at him. "This is our first summer away from home! It's my first chance to have and epic summer romance!"

"But do you really have to flirt with every guy you meet?" Ana pointed out, remembering some of Mabel's previous attempts.

"Mock all you want, siblings, but I have a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!" The trio turned as the door opened, only to see Grunkle Stan enter holding a bunch of signs and a can of Pitt Cola.

He belched, but it got caught in his throat. "Oh! Oh, not good! Ow!" Mabel groaned and facepalmed while Dipper and Ana collapsed in a fit of giggles.

"All right, all right, look alive people!" Stan ordered, spoiling the fun. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." He gestured to the signs tucked under his arm.

The triplets glanced at each other. "Not it." They said quickly.

"Uh, also not it." Said Soos, the handyman: a chubby baby-man wearing a brown baseball cap, a green t-shirt with a question mark on it, and khakis.

"Nobody asked you, Soos." Stan told him.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." He took a bite of his chocolate bar and continued restocking the shelves.

Stan sighed and turned towards the teenager lounging at the cash register. "Wendy, I need you to put up these signs."

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach them." The 15 year old pretended to reach for them, not even looking up from her magazine.

"I'd fire you all if I could." Stan rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'd quit if I could." Ana muttered under her breath.

Stan pretended not to hear. "All right, let's make it, eenie, meenie, miney... You." He pointed it Dipper.

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, this again." Stan rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town! Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'." Dipper showed the three of us his arm.

"That says 'BEWARB'." Dipper blushed and scratched the bites. "Look, kid, the whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like him." Stan gestured towards a fat, sweaty tourist laughing stupidly at a Stan-bobblehead's head bobble. "So quit being so paranoid!" He finished, dumping the signs into Dipper's arms and shoving him out the door.

Stan took a sip from his soda. "Well, what are you two doing? Get back to work! I don't pay you to just stand around and look pretty."

"You don't pay us at all." Ana told him.

"Just get back to work." He growled, handing Ana a broom and Mabel a dusting towel before leaving.

Mabel set down her towel. "Well, I'm going to go into town to meet people! Come on Ana!" She grabbed Ana's wrist and dragged her out the door before she had time to protest.

"Have fun dudes! I mean dudettes!" Soos yelled after them.

"Mabel, Stan's going to be so mad if we don't stay to help." Ana protested, attempting to tug her wrist out of her sister's tight grasp.

She giggled. "Don't worry about it! We can clean later. But now it's time for us to meet some boys!" Mabel led her down the worn road that led into town. They turned onto the main road, and window-shopped, well, Ana window-shopped while Mabel just checked out all the guys inside.

They continued walking, Mabel flirting with every guy they passed and Ana dragging her along, until they reached the local library. "Come on, Mabel, let's go inside." Ana said, turning around only to see an empty sidewalk. "Mabel?" Ana leaned to her side to get a better view of the street.

"Looking for someone?" A new voice interrupted Ana's thoughts. Ana turned to see a Hispanic girl, about her own age, with dark brown hair pulled back in a single braid and dark brown eyes, standing on the steps that lead from the library. She wore blue jeans, and a black 'Dragons aren't Imagination' concert t-shirt with a red flannel wrapped around her waist.

"Yeah. My sister." Ana glanced down at the book tucked under the girl's arm. "Oh my gosh! I love those books!"

The girl's eyes widened. "You do?" She asked, pulling out the first book of the 'Spirit Morph Saga' series from under her arm.

"I've read them, like, five gazillion times."

"Same here!" She smiled. "What did you think about the ending of the final book?"

"What did I think of it?!" Ana groaned. "It was a disaster! The author obviously got pressured by how popular the books became and was forced to water down the ending to appeal to a larger audience."

"I know right! She rambled on and on about a wedding cake for, like, fifty pages!" The girl paused for second before continuing. "I'm Raven, by the way."

"Ana."

"I haven't seen you around here before, are you a tourist?" Raven asked.

"Kinda. My siblings and I are staying with my great uncle for the summer." Ana leaned against the railing.

A bright red car pulled up to the front of the library and honked at the two girls. "That's my dad." Raven tucked her book back under her arm. "It was nice meeting you and I hope you find your sister."

"Thanks." Raven smiled and ran down the steps of the library and jumped into the the front seat of the car before it drove away.

"Who was that?" A familiar, bubbly voice broke the silence.

"Mabel, where have you been?" Ana walked down the steps towards her sibling.

"Nowhere... And everywhere." Mabel smiled, looking happier than usual. "I'll tell you once we find Dipper." She took off, sprinting towards the Shack. Ana sighed, and ran to catch up.

They ran down the road and into the gift shop. "Have you guys-" Mabel paused to catch her breath. "-seen Dipper?" She kneeled over. "Whew, running sure makes you out of breath."

Wendy sat down her magazine. "Sorry dudes, but I thought he was with you guys."

"He hasn't come back?" Ana glanced at the clock in the shop. "It's been almost half a hour. We should go find him."

"Great idea, Ana! Let's look in the creepy dark forest!" Mabel said, skipping out the door with Ana following. They walked into the trees and followed the trail of signs until they reached a clearing of trees.

Dipper was there, hunching over something with the rest of the signs discarded to the side. Ana pulled Mabel behind a log so he wouldn't notice them yet and eavesdropped on his conversation with himself. "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust." Dipper sighed, repeating, "No one you can trust."

Mabel, of course, decided that this would be the perfect time to blow the girls' cover. "HELLO!" She jumped up from behind the safety of the log before Ana had time to pull her back down. Dipper gave a small scream of surprise as Mabel laughed. "Whatcha reading, some nerd thing?" She teased.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Dipper stuttered, desperately trying to cover up his book.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Ana imitated, standing up. "What? Are you legit not going to show us?" She asked.

Gompers the goat snuck up behind Dipper and began nibbling on the corner of his book. "Uhh, let's go somewhere private." He said, pulling the book to safety.

"Yes, because the middle of the woods isn't private enough for you." Ana muttered sarcastically before following Dipper back to the shack.

* * *

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity falls has this secret dark side." Dipper stopped his pacing to show us a page.

Mabel gasped. "Whoa! Shut. Up!" She punched Dipper playfully.

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." Ana interrupted. "How do we know that this guy wasn't just some kid pulling a prank?"

Dipper pondered the question. "I don't know but in this town, anything seems possible." The doorbell rang throughout the house. "Who's that?" He asked.

"Well, time to spill the beans." Mabel knocked over an empty can of beans on the side table (aka a fake dinosaur skull). "Haha. Beans. This girl's got a date! Woot woot!" She fell off of the arm of the chair.

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLE!" She shrugged, waving her arms her arms around like a maniac. The doorbell rang again. "Oh! Coming!" Mabel ran out of the room.

Dipper continued to read his book while Ana read over his shoulder. "Whatcha reading there, slick?" Grunkle Stan asked, walking into the room.

"Oh!" Dipper hurriedly threw the book under a pillow and grabbed a magazine. "I was just catching up on, uh, 'Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine'?" Ana covered her laugh with a cough.

"That's a good issue." Stan said, sipping his Pitt Cola.

Mabel walked back into the room with a tall guy wearing a black hoodie. "Hey family! Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

"Sup?" New Boyfriend asked them. They each greeted him as Mabel continued.

"We met at the cemetery." She said. "He's really deep." She felt his arm and giggled. "Oh. Little muscle there. That's...what a surprise."

Dipper cleared his throat. "So, what's your name?" He asked, clearly not like this guy.

"Uh. NORMAL...Man!"

"He means Norman." Mabel corrected, sighing dreamily.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Ana squinted at the red liquid dripping down his cheek.

"It's jam." He answered, making Ana's eyebrows rise in disbelief.

Mabel gasped. "I love jam! Look. At. This!" She motioned between herself and Norman.

Norman turned towards Mabel. "So, you wanna go hold hands or...whatever?"

"Oh, oh my goodness!" Mabel giggled. "Don't wait up!" She yelled back to her family, running out the door. Norman pointed to Dipper and Ana and attempted to follow Mabel, only to run into the doorframe several times.

There was something about Norman that just wasn't right. We decided to consult Dipper's journal.

Ana sat on the attic floor, extremely bored, as Dipper flipped through the book. "Here's something." Ana scooched a bit closer to Dipper as he began to read a passage aloud. "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for...TEENAGERS! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious..." Dipper gasped and yelled, "ZOMBIE!"

Ana gasped as well. "Oh no! MABEL!" She got up and ran towards the attic window.

"I like you." Mabel said to Norman, oblivious of the danger, as Norman walked drunkenly towards her with his arms outstretched.

Dipper yelled, "MABEL, WATCH OUT!" But it was no use. The two could only watch in horror as Norman stumbled towards their sister and...gave her a necklace made of flowers?

Mabel gasped in delight and blushed. "Daisies? You scallywag..."

Dipper and Ana stepped away from the window. "Is our sister really dating a zombie or am I just going nuts?" He asked Ana.

"It's a dilemma to be sure." The duo turned to see Soos changing a lightbulb. "I couldn't help but overhear you guys talkin in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?" Dipper questioned.

"Hmm." Soos thought about it for a second. "How many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero." Dipper mumbled.

"Look dudes, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff about this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

Ana sighed. "As always, Soos, you're right."

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." He said.

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Stan yelled from somewhere in the gift shop.

Soos dramatically readjusted his hat. "I am needed elsewhere." He backed out of the room.

_My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence._

* * *

After a couple of hours of stalking Mabel and her boyfriend, Dipper and Ana had seen enough. They entered the attic to see Mabel brushing her hair, probably getting ready for another date with Norman. "Mabel, we've gotta talk about Norman."

Mabel turned around and smiled. "Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" She tilted her head, revealing a giant red mark on her cheek. Dipper let out a small scream as Mabel laughed. "Haha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower. That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen. We're trying to tell you that Norman isn't what he seems." Dipper pulled his journal from his vest.

Mabel gasped. "Do you think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

"Guess again, sister. Shabam." Dipper held open a page and showed it to the girls.

"Umm... Dipper..." Ana pointed to the page that he flipped to which was about gnomes.

He glanced at the page. "Oh, wait. I'm- I'm sorry... Shabam!" He flipped to the correct page.

"A zombie?" Mabel said in disbelief. "This is not funny, guys." She crossed her arms.

"We're not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Mabel suggested.

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls: trust no one!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Well what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?" Mabel put on a pair of star earrings. "Beep bop."

"Mabel." Ana grabbed her shoulders. "He's gonna eat your brain!"

Mabel pushed her away. "Listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at 5 o'clock, and I'm going to be adorable." She poked Ana in the chest, causing her the back up. "And he's going to be dreamy." Another poke. "And I'm not going to let you two ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" She pushed her siblings out of the room and slammed the door.

"What are we going to do?" Dipper groaned with his face in his hands.

* * *

Dipper and Ana sat on the couch after Mabel left with Norman. He sighed and played the videos that they had taken earlier while they followed Norman around.

"Soos was right. We don't have any real evidence." The video showed Mabel and Norman playing hopscotch. He fast-forwarded it to Mabel and Norman staring at some mountains. "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and- wait what?!" Dipper rewinded the tape to show Norman's hand falling off and him replacing it.

Dipper screamed and tipped the chair backwards, causing the two to fall. "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! MABEL!" He grabbed Ana's hand and raced outside.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!" Ana waved her arms around like crazy trying to get his attention, but unfortunately, Stan was in the middle of one of his tours.

"And here we have 'Rock that Looks like a Face Rock': the rock that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"No, it looks like a face."

"Is it a face?" Somebody else asked.

"No it's a rock that looks like a face."

"Over here! Grunkle Stan!" Dipper jumped up and down.

"For the fifth time! It's- it's not an actual face!" Stan tried to explain to the tourists.

Ana growled in frustration. "Ugggghhh! This is taking to much time! Mabel could be dead by now!"

At that moment, Wendy drove up in the golf cart. The siblings ran towards her. "Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! We need to borrow the golf cart so we can save our sister from a zombie!" Dipper pleaded.

She stared at him for a couple of seconds before shrugging and handing him the keys. "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

They hopped into the cart, but before they could get far, Soos stopped them. "Dudes, it me, Soos. This is for the zombies." He handed Dipper a shovel.

"Thanks."

"And this if just in case you see a piñata." Soos handed Ana a baseball bat.

"Uh...thanks?"

Dipper continued to back out of the parking space and sped off into the woods. "Better safe than sorry!" Soos called after them.

"Don't worry Mabel! We'll save you from that zombie!" Dipper yelled into the forest as he dodged trees.

"Dude, where did you learn to drive?" Ana asked, hanging on for dear life.

"I didn't."

"HELP!" A girl screamed nearby.

"Hold on!" Dipper stepped on the gas and sped into a clearing.

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, haha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve." A gnome said as another gnome, presumably Steve, attached himself onto Mabel's arm.

"LET GO OF ME!" Mabel yelled, punching Steve, who then proceeded to barf rainbows. Sure, why not.

"What the heck is happening here?" Ana asked as a gnome hissed at them like a cat.

"Dipper! Ana! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" A gnome pulled on Mabel's hair. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes? Huh, we were way off." Dipper pulled out the journal. "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Great. Just great. All we need now is an unstoppable gnome army." Ana muttered under her breath. She looked up to see Mabel tied to the ground like in 'Gulliver's Travels'.

Dipper walked up to a gnome with a brown beard that seemed to be in charge. "Hey! Let go of my sister!" Ana rolled her eyes. Yes, cause that's going to work.

The gnome turned around. "Oh! Haha, hey there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big understanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey?" He turned towards Mabel, who was struggling to free herself from the ropes.

"You guys are butt faces!" She yelled, causing another gnome to cover her mouth before she could say anything else.

"Give her back or else." Dipper warned, pointing his shovel at the leader as Ana smacked the baseball bat against her palm menacingly.

The leader-gnome's eyes narrowed into slits. "You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" Dipper picked him up with the shovel and tossed him away. He cut Mabel free while Ana kicked the other gnomes away.

As soon as Mabel got up, the triplets ran towards the golf cart. "They're getting away with our queen! No, no, no!" The leader-gnome screamed in fury.

"So long, suckers!" Ana yelled as they began to drive away.

"Hurry before they come after us!" Mabel said, turning towards Dipper.

He gave a nervous laugh. "I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny." He skidded to a stop as they heard a boom from behind.

"Thanks for jinxing us." Ana told Dipper as they stared at the giant gnome monster catching up to them.

"Alright, teamwork, guys! Just like we practiced!" Leader-gnome called from the tippy top of the giant gnome hat.

"Move, move!" Mabel exclaimed just as a giant arm came down to smash them.

"Come back with our queen!" Leader-gnome yelled at the trio.

Ana twisted to the front of the cart. "DIPPER! CAN'T YOU DRIVE ANY FASTER?!"

Dipper frowned and concentrated on driving. "I CAN'T WITHOUT KILLING US IN THE PROCESS!" He yelled back.

"CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP SO WE CAN CONTINUE SCREAMING FOR OUR LIVES?!" Mabel yelled at the two before continuing to scream bloody murder.

Gnomezilla threw several gnomes at the cart, who started wreaking havoc and chewing on parts. Mabel elbowed a gnome off the side of the cart, while Ana whacked gnomes away with her baseball bat. One of the gnomes jumped behind Dipper, who grabbed it and began slamming him against the steering wheel. The gnome let out a weak "Schmebulock" before falling out of the cart.

Another gnome jumped out of nowhere and began to claw Dipper's face. "Die stupid gnome, die!" Ana yelled, smacking the gnome repeatedly with the bat until it flew off along with Dipper's baseball hat.

"Thanks Ana."

"Don't mention it."

Gnomezilla paused for a couple of seconds to grab a pine tree and throw it at the cart, causing Mabel to yell, "Look out!" and Ana to yell, "SERIOUSLY?!"

Dipper swerved to avoid crashing into the tree, but the cart overturned and crashed next to the shack. The triplets crawled out of the cart's remains as the giant gnome approached us. "Stay back, man!" Dipper threw his shovel at the gnome, who punched it away in midair.

They screamed and hugged each other in fear. "Where's-where's Grunkle Stan?" Ana stuttered, looking around for any sign of him.

"It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, just marry us before we do something crazy!" Leader-gnome tried to persuade.

"There's gotta be a way out of this." Dipper pulled his book out from his vest.

Mabel stepped bravely forward. "I gotta do it."

"What? Mabel don't do this! Are you crazy?" Ana exclaimed, blocking Mabel's path to the giant gnome.

"Trust me." Mabel whispered.

"What?"

"Guys, just this once, trust me!" Mabel whispered once again, holding her hand to her face so that the gnomes wouldn't know what she was saying. Ana glanced at the gnomes, then at Mabel, and backed away with her hands slightly raised.

"All right Jeff. I'll marry you." Mabel told the gnomes' leader.

"Hot dog! Help me down there, Jason! Thanks Andy! All right, left foot, there we go! Watch those fingers, Mike." Leader-gnome, or Jeff apparently, scrambled down the giant gnome. He approached Mabel and held out a diamond ring. "Eh eh?" He wiggled his eyebrows, causing Mabel to blush as he placed it on her finger. "Bada bing, bada boom! Now let's get you back to the forest honey!"

Jeff started to walk towards the forest. "You may now kiss the bride." Mabel said causing Jeff to halt.

"Well." Jeff pulled up his overalls. "Don't mind if I do." He puckered up and leaned up to kiss Mabel, but Mabel had other plans. She grabbed the red leaf blower behind her and set it to reverse. "Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! What's-what's going on?" Jeff asked in terror as he got sucked halfway into the leaf blower.

"That's for lying to me! That's for breaking my heart!" She ignored Jeff's terrified screams as she increased the sucking power. "And this is for messing with my siblings!" She aimed the blower towards Gnomezilla. "Wanna do the honors?" She asked Dipper and Ana.

"On three." Dipper said, grabbing ahold of a side along with Ana. "One, two, three!" They reversed the leaf blowers setting and blasted Jeff at Gnomezilla, causing him to explode into a bunch of different gnomes.

Jeff flew off into the forest yelling one final threat: "I'll get you back for this!"

The remaining gnomes were in total chaos. "Who's giving orders? I need orders!" "My arms are tired."

"Anybody else want some?" Dipper asked as Mabel blew more gnomes away. They retreated back into the forest, but one got caught in a 6-pack plastic holder thing, and was carried off by Gompers the goat.

"Well, that was fun." Ana said, surveying the empty yard.

"Hey, guys? I, um, I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You were just looking out for me." Mabel said sheepishly, looking at the ground.

"Aww don't be like that." Ana told her.

"Yeah you saved our butts back there." Dipper chimed in.

Mabel gave a small laugh. "Yeah, I guess I'm just upset that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side," Ana smiled. "Maybe the next one will be a vampire."

She giggled. "Oh, you're just saying that."

"Awkward sibling hug?" Dipper asked, holding his arms our for a hug.

"Awkward sibling hug." Mabel accepted, hugging him and Ana.

"Pat, pat."

"Well, I'm hungry, so let's go inside and eat!" Ana said as soon as the three pulled apart.

The trio silently walked into the gift shop to see their Grunkle Stan counting money behind the counter. "Yeesh, you three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!" Stan laughed at his own joke.

The siblings stared at him in silence and continued trudging towards the kitchen, but Stan cleared his throat, stopping them. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it! I, um, accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh, how about each of you take on item from the gift shop. On the house, y'know?"

"Really?" Mabel asked.

Dipper looked skeptical. "What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something."

Well, y'know what they say. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

The triplets eagerly searched through the many boxes, shelves, racks, and barrels in the shop for the perfect item as Stan went back to counting money.

Ana rummaged through a cardboard box by the counter and pulled out a smooth rectangle with the Mystery Shack logo on it. She flipped it open and her suspicions were proved right as a small silver blade emerged from the red handle. It was perfect for any future adventures or any of Mabel's future creepy boyfriends. "I'm good with this." She said, slipping it into the front pocket of her jeans.

The others continued to search for a few more minutes until Dipper tried on a hat from one of the shelves. "Hm. This outta do the trick." He turned around, showing Ana the blue and white hat with a pine tree in the middle.

"And I will have a..." Mabel grabbed an item from the box that she was searching in. "Grappling hook! Yes!"

"Uh, wouldn't you rather have a doll or something?" Stan asked her.

Mabel fired the hook at the ceiling. "Grappling hook!" She told him stubbornly as she hung from the ceiling.

Stan shrugged. "Fair enough."

* * *

Ana laid on her bed writing in a notebook that she found that she dedicated to recording all of their adventures.

_Dipper's journal had told me that there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust._

She glanced up to look at Dipper, who was quietly reading the journal, and then at Mabel, who was jumping up and down her bed with her grappling hook.

_But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back. Our uncle told us that there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what secrets are waiting to be unlocked._

"Hey, Mabel, can you get the light?" Dipper asked.

"I'm on it!" She said, raising her grappling hook and aiming it at the lamp on the nightstand. She fired, smashing the window, but successfully turning out the light. "It works!" Mabel exclaimed excitedly as the other two began laughing. "Grappling hook." She mumbled sleepily.

Ana closed her notebook and placed it on the nightstand by her bed. She climbed under the covers and closed her eyes for some well deserved rest.

**REMINDER: I am rewriting this story so don't expect any new episodes for a while until I finish rewriting the others! (Don't worry, the other's won't take that long. Hopefully.) OH and for all you people who have already read this story before I changed it, PLEASE READ THIS CHAPTER. I changed a crap ton of stuff that you need to know** **going forth.**

**Onto other important news, I just want to say that Alex Hirsch is a champion. He decided to end Gravity Falls on his own time, not because Disney is making him. Disney would've milked GF for all it's worth because it's so popular. And honestly, I'd rather have this show stop when it's still popular and good than have it end in its 6th season and suffer through a bunch of horrible episodes. Of course I'm sad, but I'm also happy too. Gravity Falls is all about growing up, and because of this show, I feel like I'm more prepared for when that time comes for me. **

**Thank you, Alex, for this amazing show.**


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

**The Legend of the Gobblewonker**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Welcome to this week's SYRUP RACE!" Ana said dramatically, holding a spoon up to her mouth like a microphone. "In this corner we have the girl with the stickers: MABEL PINES!" Ana made fake crowd noises. "And in the other corner we have the boy who wears the same outfit everyday: DIPPER PINES!" Some more fake crowd noises. "Contestants, are you ready for the ultimate challenge?!"

"I'm always ready!" Dipper said.

"On your mark, get set, GO!"

Dipper and Mabel tip their bottles. "Go Sir Syrup!" Mabel said.

"Go Mountie Man!"

"Go Mabel! Go Dipper!" Ana exclaimed.

"Almost... Almost..." Mabel tapped the bottom of her bottle causing the syrup to fall on her tongue before Dipper. "YES!" She said before she started choking on the syrup.

Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister's antics as he picked up a magazine that was sitting on the table and flipped through it. "Ho ho, no way! Hey guys, check this out." The girls looked over his shoulder to see what he was talking about.

"Human-sized hamster balls?" Mabel asked, looking at an advertisement. She gasped. "I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel. This." Dipper pointed at the adjacent page which announced a monster photo contest. "We see weirder stuff than that every day!" He said, pointing at last year's winner. "We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Nope, just memories. And this beard hair." Mabel said, holding up a tuft of gray hairs.

"Why did you save that?" Ana asked her, a bit disturbed. She glanced at the tuft and shrugged.

Grunkle Stan walked into the kitchen. "Good morning, knuckleheads. You three know what day it is?"

"Um... Happy anniversary?" Dipper guessed.

"Saturday...?" Said Ana.

"Mazel tov!" Mabel exclaimed.

Grunkle Stan hit Dipper on the head with his newspaper. "It's Family Fun Day, geniuses!" He walked over to the fridge and grabbed the milk. "We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know," he sniffed the milk. "bonding-type deals."

"Is this going to be like out last family bonding day?" Ana asked, recalling when the triplets had to help Stan make counterfeit money.

Mabel shuddered. "The county jail was so cold."

"All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?" Stan asked them.

"YAY!" The kids yelled.

"Wait, what?" Dipper asked, processing what Stan just said.

* * *

Dipper, Ana, and Mabel sat in the car, wearing the blindfolds that Grunkle Stan handed to them. Dipper sighed. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good." He muttered.

"Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!" Mabel exclaimed, placing her hands on the other two's faces, causing them to laugh.

The car jumped, making them fly into the doors. "Uh, Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold or is your driving just naturally this terrible?" Ana asked.

"Oh haha, very funny." Stan said sarcastically. "I'm not wearing a blindfold, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?" He responded before crashing into something that was DEFINITELY not a woodpecker.

Finally, Stan stopped the car after crashing into a bunch of other things. The siblings got out of the car, which was no easy task considering that they were still blindfolded, and waited for Grunkle Stan to tell them to take off the blindfolds. "Okay, okay. Open 'em up!" They took off their blindfolds only to see Grunkle Stan in fishing gear with a lake full of people in the background. "Ta-da! It's fishin' season!"

"Fishing?" Mabel asked like she had ever heard the word before.

"What are you playing at, old man?" Dipper asked, crossing his arms.

"You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" Stan gestured at the lake filled with people in boats. "That's some quality family bonding!"

"Grunkle Stan, why do you want to 'bond' with us all of a sudden?"

"Come on, this is going to be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't 'like' or 'trust' me." Stan said, using air quotations around the 'like' and 'trust'.

Mabel turned to Dipper and Ana. "I think he actually wants to fish with us."

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up." Stan whipped out three hats from behind his back mad slapped them down on top of the kids' heads. "Pow! Pines family fishing hats! That's- that's hand-stitching, you know."

Ana took her's off her head and looked at it. The 'N' was accidentally sewed on backwards. Okay, hand-made hats, cheerful attitude, a desire to bond with them There's only one logical explanation for this. "Who are you and what have you done with our Grunkle?" Ana asked 'Stan'.

He laughed and ruffled her hair. "Don't be silly. It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"TEN HOURS?" Dipper exclaimed.

"I brought the joke book!" Stan held up '1001 Yuk 'Em Ups' that was 'Uncle Approved'.

"No! NO!"

"Oh Gosh! Please not the joke book!" Ana begged.

"There has to be a way out of this." Mabel said, looking around.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" A crazy-looking old man wearing overalls and a witch's hat ran down from the dock, crashing into and overturning various items and people. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" He yelled while doing this weird jig thingy.

"Awwww... He's doing a happy jig!" Mabel said, clasping her hands together.

The crazy old guy grabbed her shoulders. "Nooo! It's a jig of grave danger!"

The lake ranger came out and sprayed the guy with a spraybottle. "Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!"

"But I got proof this time, by gummity!" The old guy ran over to the end of the dock. "BEHOLD!" He pointed to a boat that had been smashed into pieces. "It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like..." The man paused, trying to think of something with wrinkly skin. "Like this gentleman right here!" He pointed at Grunkle Stan, who was picking his ear. "It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"

A fat police officer spoke into his radio. "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" Everyone besides the Pines and the ranger started laughing and pointing at the old guy.

"Aww, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!" The old guy said as he ran off in embarrassment.

"Well that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" Stan said, stepping into a rickety rowboat and untying it from the dock.

Dipper pulled Mabel and Ana aside. "Guys, did you hear what that old dude said?"

"Aww, donkey spittle!" Mabel said, imitating the old guy.

"The other thing. About the monster. If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize money 30-30-30!" Dipper said.

"That's three 30s!" Mabel said, wide-eyed.

"And some change." Ana added.

"Imagine what you can do with 300 dollars!" 300 dollars is a lot of money. Ana slipped into a daydream.

"And to your right, you can see Anika Pines' mansion!" A tour guide spoke into a microphone as a tour bus passed a huge mansion. "After winning a monster photo contest at the age of twelve, Ms. Pines slowly built up her fortune by selling photographs of other mysterious creatures, and is now a billionaire."

The tourists oohed and ahhed, snapping pictures as the bus pulled away.

Ana was called back to reality as Dipper snapped in front of their faces. "Guys? Guys!"

"Dipper, I am one MILLION percent on board with this!" Mabel yelled.

"Same here." Ana agreed.

Now to convince Grunkle Stan. "Grunkle Stan!" Ana approached him, giving him her most dazzling smile. "Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

"Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" The triplets chanted.

"Monster hunt! Monster... Eh... I'll go." The old guy from before said before walking off.

They looked up as they heard a loud honking noise. "You dudes say something about a monster hunt?" Soos asked them as he pulled up in his boat.

"Soos!" Mabel and Ana greet happily.

"Wassup, hambones?" They did some fistbumps that ended in explosions and all that fun stuff. "Dudes, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff." He said, patting the side of the boat.

"All right, all right, let's think this through." Stan intervened. "You kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, OR you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

The triplets looked at Soos, who did this pretty awesome robot dance, and then back at Stan, who wiggled his eyes suggestively at them before sniffing his armpit. They glanced over at Scuttlebutt Island and then grinned at each other.

"So, whaddaya say?"

* * *

"We made the right choice!" Mabel said as they drove away in Soos's boat towards Scuttlebutt Island, leaving their great uncle by the docks to fish by himself.

"Hoist the anchor!" Dipper yelled, and Soos raised the cinderblock anchor. "Raise the flag!" Ana held up a beach towel she found lying on a chair.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" Mabel yelled.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" Dipper added.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Soos asked the kids from the behind the wheel.

"We're gonna... go get sunscreen!"

"YAY!" As the boat U-turned away from the island, the kids we're blissfully unaware of the dark silhouette slinking away in the water.

* * *

Dipper paced in front of Mabel, Soos, and Ana. "All right. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right! Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"If you're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." Soos responded. "Dude, am I a side character? Do y'ever think about stuff like that?"

"No, no, no. Camera trouble! Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot." Soos struck a Bigfoot pose. "There he is! Bigfoot!" Dipper patted his jacket. "Uh oh, no camera! Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film! You see? You see what I'm doing here?"

"Oh yeah. Dude's got a point."

"That's why I bought EIGHTEEN disposable cameras! Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, three for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one under my hat! There is no way we're gonna miss this."

Dipper passed out all of the cameras. "Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out!"

Soos turned his camera around to face himself and took a picture. "Ah, dude!" The flash blinded him, causing him to accidentally throw it into the water.

"You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have seventeen!" Dipper said calmly.

"Ah! Bird!" Mabel threw a camera at a seagull but she missed and accidentally hit Ana's head. Ana let out a small cry of pain, and proceeded to throw one of her own cameras at Mabel, where it shattered on the deck.

"Fifteen! Okay guys, I repeat: don't lose your cameras."

"Wait, lose the cameras?" Soos asked, confused.

"DON'T lose them." Dipper said.

"Dude, I just threw two overboard." He said, pointing at two cameras floating in the water. "I guess I'm out of cameras."

"Oh, dude, just have one of mine." Ana tossed one of her cameras to him, but she overshot it and it fell into the water. "Oops."

Dipper was hyperventilating. "Twelve! We still have twelve camera-" Dipper accidentally crushed one with his fist. "Eleven. We have eleven cameras."

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" Mabel asked, holding the bag with the extra cameras over the side of the boat.

"NO!" Dipper panicked. "No. Okay." Dipper calmed himself before proceeding. "You and Ana will be lookouts, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain."

"What? Why do you get to be the captain? What about Mabel, huh? Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!" She said, pumping her fist into the air with each 'Mabel'.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Dipper stated, knowing that Mabel can be kind of a loose cannon.

"What about co-captain?" Mabel suggested.

"There's no such thing as co-captain." Dipper responded quickly.

"Aw, whoops." Mabel casually threw a camera into the water.

"Okay, fine! You can be co-captain!" Dipper panicked.

"Woah, woah, woah! If we are all choosing our positions, then I want to be supervisor." Ana said.

"You only want that position so that you don't have to do anything." Dipper said.

"Exactly."

"Can I be associate co-captain?" Soos asked.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request." Mabel said.

"Well as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." Dipper gestured to a barrel of fish food.

"What if it doesn't like fish food?" Ana asked.

"Then, I don't know we'll think of something else." Dipper said.

"Permission to taste some?" Soos asked.

The kids stared at him for a few seconds, judging his odd request. "Granted." Dipper said.

"Permission co-granted." Mabel authorized.

"Permission supervisor granted." Ana said.

"Permission associate co-granted." Soos said before licking a piece. He started to gag and cough at the bitter taste, and then wiped his tongue, causing them to laugh at his antics. "Dude, I don't know what I expected it to taste like."

"Oh Soos..." Mabel sighed.

* * *

The trio, or quartet because of Soos, approached Scuttlebutt Island. Soos was shoveling fish food into the water, Dipper and Ana were trying to see through the fog that magically appeared, and Mabel was playing ventriloquist with a pelican. "Hey! How's it going?" She switched to a different voice. "It's going awesome! Bow bow buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone." Dipper said.

"Ah, I don't mind none!" She switched back to her normal voice. "Hey, look, I'm drinking water!" Back to pelican voice. "Twinkle, twinkle little..." She choked on the water and the pelican flew away.

"Aren't you supposed to be on lookout duty?" Dipper asked.

"LOOK OUT!" She threw a volleyball at Dipper, who held his arm and whimpered after being hit. "Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it." The boat proceeded to crash into the shore of the island. "See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball here we come!"

They disembarked and ventured into the creepy woods. Dipper led the group with his lantern until they reached a tree with a sign that read 'Scuttlebutt Island' on it. "Dudes, check it out." Soos covered part of the sign. "Butt Island."

"Soos, you rapscallion!" Mabel said as the girls laughed. She turned to Dipper. "Hey why aren't you laughing?"

"Are you scared?" Ana teased.

Dipper protested. "Pssh. Yeah, right! I'm not-"

Mabel poked him on the nose and blew a raspberry. "Yeah you are." She continued to poke him and blow raspberries.

"Hey!" He dropped the lantern. "Quit!.. Stop!.. Mabel!"

She finally stopped when they heard a strange growling noise in the distance. "Dudes, did you hear that?" Soos asked.

"What was that? Was it your stomach?" Mabel questioned Soos. "Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises."

Mabel and Ana pressed their ears against Soos's stomach which indeed sounded like whales. "Wow. So majestic." Mabel said, eyes wide.

"Our lantern!" Dipper gasped as a possum ran off with their one and only source of light. "Ugh, I can't see anything!"

"Dude, I dunno man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it." Soos said uncertainly.

Dipper gasped again. "Not worth it?! Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

Ana recalled the daydream. "I'm in." She said.

"Me too." Dipper agreed.

"Me three!" Mabel exclaimed as they ran off.

"Alright dudes, I'm coming!" Soos ran to catch up with the siblings.

It was only a matter of time before Mabel and Soos got bored. The group had been searching in the fog for no less than ten minutes when the rapping started. "My name is Mabel. It rhymes with table. It also rhymes with... glabel. It also rhymes with... schmabel."

Soos stopped his beatboxing to say, "Dude, we should be writing this down."

"Guys, guys, guys! You hear something?" Dipper asked. They paused and listened. Sure enough, there was the same growling noise from earlier, but this time, it sounded a bit closer. "This is it. This is it." Dipper said. Dipper, Mabel and Ana punched each other lightly as they headed towards the sound, while Soos paused to pick up a pointy stick and followed them.

They wandered through the thick fog for a couple of minutes before Soos stopped the triplets and pulled them behind a log. The four peered over the log to look at a strange silhouette in the water.

"Everyone: get your cameras ready!" Dipper whispered. "Ready? GO!" Dipper yelled, and they leapt out from behind the log. Soos raced towards the shore and started taking pictures at random while the triplets followed him. But they halted to a stop when they discovered that the silhouette was really just a wrecked boat with a bunch of cute beavers on it.

"But- but what was that noise? I heard a monster noise!" Dipper said in disbelief. We turned to see a beaver chewing on, and activating, a rusty, old chainsaw, causing the 'monster noise'.

"Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!" Soos snapped a picture of the beaver.

Dipper sighed. "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all."

"He did say: 'scrabdoodles'" Ana pointed out.

* * *

Ana sat on the shore of the lake drawing in the sand. "What are we going to tell Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." She sighed and threw a pebble into the lake.

"Hey, do you guys feel that?" Dipper asked just before the rock that he had been sitting on disappeared under the water. Dipper scrambled back onto shore just in time to see a silhouette gliding in the water. "This is it!" Dipper exclaimed as he snapped a picture of the water. "Come on! This is our chance! What's wrong with you guys?" Dipper asked as the others slowly backed up in horror. The Gobblewonker slowly rose up from the depths of the lake and stared at them with cold, yellow eyes.

"It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point and shoot. Like this!" Dipper turned around, ignoring my advice, and pointed his camera right at the monster's face. He froze, and the Gobblewonker roared, causing Dipper to drop his camera.

"RUN!" Soos yelled. They sprinted back to the boat with the monster close on their tails. The monster knocked over a tree, but Dipper tackled Mabel and Ana out of the way and kept running. They dodged falling trees and other obstacles until they finally caught up to Soos. "GET BACK TO THE BOAT! HURRY!" Soos yelled at them, pulling Mabel onto his back.

"REALLY?! I THOUGHT WE WERE RUNNING TO THE BEAVERS!" Ana yelled back sarcastically.

"FOR ONCE CAN YOU NOT BE SARCASTIC WHEN OUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER?" Dipper yelled at her as he tried to snag a picture of the monster as they were running. He tripped over a root, and lost the camera. "THE PICTURE!" He started to run back for it, but Soos grabbed him.

"DUDE, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I GOT TONS OF PICTURES OF THOSE BEAVERS, DUDE!"

"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER?!" Dipper screamed as they continued to run for their lives.

The kids plus Soos continued to run towards the boat, dodging the trees and rocks that the monster threw in their path. "LOOK!" Ana yelled, pointing at the 'Scuttlebutt Island' sign that they had passed earlier. "WE'RE NEAR THE BOAT!" They sprinted pass the sign, pass the trees, and down the shore where the boat was docked.

Ana leapt onto the boat as Soos helped Mabel and Dipper aboard and then pushed the boat into the water. "Let's get outta here dudes!"

"Alright, this is it!" Dipper said, pulling a camera out of his jacket. "Cracked lens?!" He exclaimed in disbelief. "SOOS! Get a photo!" He turned to the older boy, only to see him throwing the cameras at the monster. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He yelled.

"Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry dude!" Soos threw his last camera at Dipper, but it hit Ana in the face and bounced off into the water.

"OW! Seriously, again?!" Ana yelled, holding her forehead.

"SORRY!" The Gobblewonker slid into the lake and glided towards the boat at an alarming speed.

"GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!" Dipper yelled.

Soos stepped on the gas and they drove off. They passed Grunkle Stan, who looked like he was having a great time yelling at this other old guy, and continued run for their lives. "SOOS! BEAVERS!" Ana warned just before they crashed into the beavers' home. The beavers flew everywhere, biting them and the boat. Ana wrestled one off her leg as Mabel smacked one against the railing of the boat, and Soos struggled with the beaver on his face. Ana quickly took control of the wheel as he ran in circles, trying to get the stupid thing off his face.

Dipper threw some beavers at the Gobblewonker but, apparently, it didn't like beavers and knocked off the top of the control cabin. "AHH! LOOK OUT!" Mabel shrieked and pointed at two men hauling glass right in front of them.

Ana shrieked and tried to swerve to avoid them, but accidentally ran into the glass. "UH, WHERE DO I GO?!" She asked, looking around for a way out.

"Um..." Dipper frantically flipped through the pages of the Journal. "Uh.. GO INTO THE FALLS! I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A CAVE BEHIND THERE!"

"MIGHT BE?! THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH, DIPPER!"

They all screamed, but passed through the waterfall and into the cave concealed behind it. The boat crashed and threw the quartet into the dirt. "Ugh." Ana moaned, and got to her feet with some help from Dipper. "Thanks."

They turned to look at the monster try to swim into the cave after them, but it got stuck in the entrance. "It's stuck!" Mabel said.

"Haha. Yeah. Wait... It's stuck?" Dipper asked.

"That's what she just said." Ana murmured as he began to panic when he couldn't find a camera. She sighed and took off his hat, revealing the last of the seventeen cameras that they began with.

Dipper laughed and hugged her in gratitude before snapping pictures of the trapped Goblegonker.

"Didja get a good one?" Mabel asked.

"They're all good ones." He told her.

"WOO! HAMSTER BALL!"

The monster continued to roar and grumble until a stalactite fell onto its head and silenced it. "What the...?" Dipper climbed down the hill they were standing on and touched the side of the Gobblewonker. "Huh?"

"What's wrong?" Mabel called. Dipper ignored her and knocked on the monster's side, causing a metallic sound to echo through the cave.

"Careful, dude!"

"I've got this! Hold on!" Dipper climbed over the monster and popped up on the other side a few moments later. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!" Soos, Mabel, and Ana began to climb up the side and Ana was a bit alarmed to realize that the skin of the Gobblewonker, didn't feel like skin at all, but instead felt cold like metal.

When they finally reached the top, Dipper showed the girls and Soos a trapdoor designed to look like the rest of the body. He turned the handle and slowly opened the door and a bunch of steam rose out of opening. "Work the bellows and the-" The group peered inside to see the old crazy dude from earlier operating a machine. "Eh?" He looked up at them. Aww, banjo polish!"

"Wha- Yo- You?!" Dipper asked flabbergasted. "You made this? W-w-why?"

"Well, I... I, uh.." He sighed and looked down, ashamed. "I just wanted attention."

"I still don't understand."

"Well first I just hootnannied up a biomechanical brain generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard." He said and demonstrated his beard skills for us.

"First of all, that's kinda weird. Secondly, was it really necessary to learn how to operate the machine with your beard? You could just use your other arm. And yeah, but why did you do it?" Ana asked.

The old guy scratched his beard. "Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months!" Ana felt her heart melt in compassion for him. He maybe be weird and crazy, but he's just a man who wants to be loved. "So I figured I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut!" He began to laugh like a maniac and then sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Ana sighed and pulled out the fishing hat that Grunkle Stan gave her. It was obvious that he had put a lot of time and effort into this hat, even making sure that she would like the dark blue and deep maroon of the letters stitched into the hat. She sighed once again with Dipper and Mabel.

Soos laughed. "Dude. I guess the real lake monsters are you three. Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head right there."

Ana glared at him as Mabel continued to talk to the old guy. "So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?"

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" He pushed a button and a projector popped up and displayed the blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robuts in my day!" He pushed another button and the slide changed to a newspaper clipping showing a pterodactyl breathing fire on a town. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron," he pushed the button again to show a picture of a young man. "or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party," the projector changed to another newspaper clipping that showed a large robot terrorizing a town. "and I constructed an eighty ton SHAME BOT THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" He began laughing like a maniac.

"We have a downtown area?" Ana asked.

"Not anymore." He replied creepily. "Well time to get back to work on my death ray!" The old guy ducked back into the Gobblewonker and began working on a giant ray. He raised his hand up in a grabbing motion and asked, "Any you kids got a screwdriver?"

Ana sighed. "Well, so much for the photo contest."

"We still got one roll left." Mabel pointed out. "Whaddaya wanna do with it?"

* * *

"Hey, over here!" Dipper called as they drove up to a depressed looking Stan.

"What the- Kids? I thought you three were off playing 'Spin the bottle' with Soos." Stan said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, we spent all day chasing a legendary dinosaur." Dipper started.

"But then we realized that the only dinosaur that we wanna hang out with is right here." Mabel finished.

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection- I had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun." He showed them his shiny new ankle bracelet.

"So... I guess there isn't enough room in that boat for four more?" Ana bit her lip as he glared at his nephew, nieces, and employee. Then the siblings put on their fishing hats and his expression softened.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"Five bucks you can't do it!" Ana said.

"You're on!" Stan said, and helped her aboard the Stan o' war.

Mabel climbed in. "Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!"

"I like those odds!" He chuckled.

"Woah! What happened to your shirt?" Stan asked Soos as the boys climbed in.

"Long story, dude."

"Alright, everyone get together." Dipper ordered, and the rest of them scrambled to get in front of the camera. "Say 'fishing'!"

"Fishing!" They said simultaneously.

"Dude, am I in the frame?" Soos asked just as Dipper took the picture.

* * *

Later on that evening, Ana looked at the pictures that they had taken. There was the one of her, Stan, Mabel, and Soos's belly. She smiled slightly, placing it aside for Mabel to put in her summer scrapbook, and moved on to the next one. It was one of Mabel trying to cover Stan's eyes while he peeks and tries to thread a hook. She pinned that one to the wall and flipped through the rest of them. Stan reading jokes out of his joke book as Mabel, Soos, and Dipper laugh. Dipper holding his first fish. Her throwing fish at Dipper. Stan posing with his in his vest like Napoleon. Stan holding her up as she steals a net of fish from a girl and her grandfather. All of them driving away from the lake police.

Ana laughed once again, pinning all of them to her wall, and then climbing under the covers. Today was a great day, even though she didn't win that photo contest, but hey, she got some great bonding time with her family.

**Okay guys, I'm so so so so so sorry about not updating earlier, but that's just how life goes. Thanks to all of you who have liked, followed, or reviewed on this story, and please continue to do so (as long as it is respectful****J****).**

**_blade1333: is it just me but why am I only see 2 chapter?_**

**_I am currently rewriting this story (as the first chapter should explain) and I haven't had a lot of time to write, but I'm currently on winter break, so maybe I can find time to write..?_**

**WARNING: THIS PART HAS SPOILERS ABOUT THE FINALE!**

**OH MY GOD Y'ALL. That finale KILLED me. I started sobbing when all of them ran up to you-know-who and he didn't remember them. God, it killed me. But on the bright side, we finally got our Stan twin hug that we've wanted since ATOTS. And literally all of our headcannons came true. AND MY GAY OTPS WERE REUNITED LIKE Y'ALL FIDDAUTHOR AND BLUBBS AND DURLAND FOR LIFE! I seriously wanted them to kiss but that's okay. AND AT THE END WHEN STAN AND FORD ARE THREATENING THAT BUS DRIVER AND THEY PULL OUT THEIR WEAPONS LIKE OMG I DIED.**

**Anyways, I just wanted to say how much this show has helped me, like, I was going through a tough time when I first discovered Gravity Falls, and since then, I honestly feel like I have grown up with Mabel and Dipper. I, myself, have just started high school and honestly, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. So, thank you, Alex Hirsch, for creating such a beautiful show that has helped me grow up. **


	3. Headhunters

**Headhunters**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

It was a normal day in the Mystery Shack. Mabel was knitting a new sweater, Ana was reading Dipper's journal, while Dipper was fully invested in the TV show that they were all watching, and hogging all of the popcorn.

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident." The constable in the show said.

Duck-tective waddled to the crime scene and began quacking. The subtitle read: 'An accident, constable? Or is it...MURDER?!'

"WHAT?!" The constable exclaimed in shock, causing Ana to roll her eyes.

"Duck-tective will return after these messages." The TV announcer announced.

Mabel dropped her sweater. "That duck is a genius!" She exclaimed.

Dipper shrugged. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel asked.

"Mabel, please. Anyone could outwit Duck-tective. He's a duck!" Ana said.

She gasped. "How could you say that?!"

Ana rolled her eyes again. "Oh come on! It was obviously murder."

"Prove it."

"1) There wouldn't be a show if it was just an accident. And 2) getting crushed by a phone booth isn't an accident. The duck was just pointing out the obvious."

She was about to retort back when Soos ran into the room. "Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!"

"A time machine? A ray that can erase people's memories? A mermaid? Umm... A top secret bunker? Journals 1 and 2?" Ana guessed wildly.

"Buried treasure?" Dipper guessed just as Mabel said, "Buried-" she shoved Dipper playfully. "Hey, I was going to say that!"

Soos led us down the hallway to a door camouflaged to look like the wall. "So I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" He paused and opened the door.

Dipper turned on a flashlight, and the kids peered inside to see a bunch of wax figures concealed by the inky darkness. "Woah! It's a secret wax museum!" Dipper walked around the room shining the light on different statues.

"They're so life-like." Mabel said.

"Except for that one." Ana nodded towards a particularly creepy one.

"Hello!" The creepy statue said, causing all of them to scream. The statue chuckled. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" They screamed even louder and turned to leave, but Stan blocked the door and turned on the light.

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" He raised his arms like he was about to embrace someone. "It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it. I got 'em all!" He strolled around the room, showing off random statues. "Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes," He paused and stared in confusion at a sculpture of Larry King. "Some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

Dipper shivered. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" He whispered so that only his sisters could hear.

"And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-" he turned to a big glob of wax on the floor under an open window. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He crouched down and inspected a bit of the wax on his finger. "How do you fix a wax figure?"

Mabel knelt down next to him. "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" Stan just groaned in response. "Beep, bop, boop!" She cheerfully poked his face, accidentally hitting his eye.

"Ow." He winced a bit. "Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

He looked up in surprise. "You really think you could make one of these puppies?" He asked.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She displayed the ever-present glue gun on her arm, and attempted to shake it off.

He laughed and said, "I like your gumption, kid!"

"I have no idea what that word means but thank you." She smiled.

* * *

A hour later Ana sat in Grunkle Stan's chair in the living room reading a page in Journal 3 about a dream demon that looked rather like a well-dressed nacho.

"ANA!" Mabel interrupted, holding out a sketchbook. "What do you think of my idea? She's part fairy-princess and part horse fairy-princess!"

"It's great." Ana replied, not really paying attention.

"I'm going to go find Dipper so I can show him my idea." Mabel beamed.

"I'll come with you. I'm starving." Ana followed her out of the living room into the next room.

"DIPPER!" She jumped in front of him causing him so choke on the soda he was drinking. "What do you think of my wax figure idea?" She showed him the sketchbook as Ana grabbed an apple from the kitchen. "She's part fairy-princess and part horse fairy-princess!"

"Maybe you should draw something from real life." Dipper suggested.

She started to draw furiously on a new page. "Like a waffle, with big arms!" She showed him her newest idea.

"Y-okay... Or how about something else? Like-like someone from your family."

"Kids, have you seen my pants?" Grunkle Stan walked up in his boxers and posed dramatically on a briefcase.

Mabel's eyes widened. She turned around and lifted her head up. "Oh Muse, you work in mysterious ways."

"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?" Stan asked Dipper and Ana.

* * *

Soos, Dipper, and Ana stood in front of Mabel's masterpiece as she added the final touches. "I think... It needs more glitter." Mabel stared at her work skeptically.

"Agreed." Soos handed her a bucket full of glitter and she proceeded to dump the whole thing on the figure.

Stan walked into the room looking down at his feet. "I found my pants but now I'm missing my-" He looked up and fell backwards out of surprise. "Ahhh!"

The kids and Soos walked over to Stan and helped him up. "What do you think?" Mabel asked.

"I think.. The wax museum is back in business!"

* * *

It was the day of the grand re-opening of the forgotten wax museum. Soos was guiding cars with corndogs, and Mabel and Stan stood on the stage (aka the front porch), while Ana sat with Dipper and Wendy at the ticket booth. "I can't believe this many people showed up." Dipper remarked as he took some random person's money.

"I know right. Your uncle probably bribed them or something." Wendy took the next person's cash.

"He bribed me." Dipper pulled a crisp ten-dollar bill out of his vest and the girls proceeded to pull out their own bills that they had received from Stan.

"Oh, it's starting!"

The trio turned towards the stage as Stan walked up and cleared his throat over the microphone, causing a horrible squeaking noise. "You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery'! Please, ladies, control yourselves!" Stan addressed three ladies sitting on the front row.

"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold…. Me!" Stan unveiled a glitter covered wax replica of himself. A couple of people politely clapped and someone coughed. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo." Stan said, passing the microphone to Mabel.

"It's Mabel." She corrected. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It is covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids." The crowd groaned in disgust as Mabel chuckled. "Yeah. I will know be taking questions." She pointed at the guy who built the Gobblewonker. "You there!"

He stood up and introduced himself, "Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?"

"Umm.. Yes?" Mabel responded. "Next question." She pointed at another man.

"Toby Determined, _Gravity Falls Gossiper_. Do you really think that this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

"Your microphone is a turkey baster, Toby." Stan pointed out.

"It certainly is." Toby sat back down.

"Next question." Stan pointed at a woman with a camera crew behind her.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter." She said, sending a pointed look at Toby Determined. She held up a flyer. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" The crowd murmured about wanting their pizza.

"That was a typo." Stan said. "Goodnight, everyone!" He yelled, throwing down a smoke bomb so he could run off with the admission box.

Mabel ran over to her siblings, dodging flyers, parts of chairs, people, and a turkey baster. "I think that went well." She said optimistically.

"Oh yeah. That went wonderfully." Ana commented as she watched Manly Dan, Wendy's dad, punch a pole and yell, "IN YOUR FACE!"

* * *

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person: this guy." Stan pointed at the statue, who the kids had dubbed 'Wax Stan'. Ana rolled her eyes, not even bothering to look up from her book. Mabel playfully punched Stan and cleared her throat. "Oh. Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin." He noogied her.

"Now you kids wash up. We got a long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" Stan shooed his nephew and nieces out of the room.

"Night, Grunkle Stan." Ana called down to him once they had reached the door of the attic.

The triplets quickly changed into their P.J.s and congregated in the bathroom to brush their teeth. "Do you wanna have a toothbrush race?" Mabel asked.

"Sure." Ana shrugged, grabbed her toothbrush, and put some toothpaste on it.

"Ready? Set. G-" Mabel was cut off by a scream. The triplets looked at each other and ran downstairs.

"What's wrong?" Ana asked, yielding a golf club that she had picked up by the door.

"Wax Stan! He's been... M-murdered!" Stan choked out, stepping aside to reveal a headless wax body. Mabel wilted into Dipper's arms.

"Do you want me to call the police?" Ana asked, and Stan nodded.

15 minutes later, the sheriff's car was parked outside of the Shack. "I got up to use the jon, right? And when I get back, blammo! He's headless!" Stan explained to the cops.

Mabel knelt next to the decapitated figure. "My expert handcrafting besmirched. Besmiiiiiirrrched!" Mabel wailed, and sobbed into her hands.

Her sister wrapped an arm around her. "Don't worry, Mabes. The officers are more than capable of getting to the bottom of this." She smiled weakly and wiped her tears away.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" The taller officer asked his companion.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... This case is unsolvable."

The Pines all looked at him in shock. "Forget what I just said Mabel 'cause these officers are apparently idiots." Ana muttered, loud enough for only Mabel and Dipper to hear.

"You take that back Sheriff Blubs!" Stan yelled.

"You're kidding, right?" Dipper asked. "There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." He looked up at Sheriff Blubs.

"He's really good! He figured out who was eating our tin cans." Mabel interjected helpfully.

"All signs pointed to the goat." Dipper said.

"The evil, evil goat." Ana whispered.

Grunkle Stan ignored her. "Yeah, yeah! Let the boy help. He's got a little brain in his head."

The sheriff chuckled. "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City booooy! City boooooy!" Deputy Durland called.

"You are adorable!"

"Adorable?" Dipper repeated like he had never heard the word before as Blubs and Durland continued to laugh.

"Hey! Dipper could do a better job at solving this mystery than you could. You already gave up!" Ana defended her older sibling.

The sheriff glared at her, (at least she thinks he glared at her. Ana couldn't be sure with his sunglasses.) before addressing Dipper. "Look, P.J.s, how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?"

Before Dipper could respond, a man began talking into Blub's walkie-talkie. "Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"

Deputy Durland gasped dramatically. "It's a 23-16!"

"Let's move!" The two officers ran out of the house and drove away in their police car.

"Idiotic, mouth-breathing, nose-picking, sand-licking sons of a nutcracker." Ana muttered under her breath as she watched them drive away through the living room window.

"That's it! Mabel, Ana, you two and me are going to find the jerk that did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable."

Dipper sneezed. "Aww! You sneeze like a kitten!" Mabel said, causing Dipper to glare at her.

* * *

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." Dipper said, studying the crime scene (aka the living room), while Mabel took a bunch of pictures of the body.

Dipper continued. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."

Mabel paused and gasped. "Yeah! Even us!"

Ana frowned. "I don't think it was us, Mabel. It couldn't have been because we were all upstairs brushing our teeth at the time of the crime."

"Maybe one of us developed super speed and killed Wax Stan without the others knowing!" Mabel said, eyes wide.

Dipper paced, flipping through the Journal. "In this town anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies. It could be months before we find our first clue."

"Hey look, a clue!"

Dipper stopped his pacing and walked over to the other side of the living room. "Footprints in the shag carpet!"

"Look! They have a hole in them." Ana pointed out. "And they're leading to..." Dipper and Mabel followed her behind the couch. Their eyes fell on a poorly hidden ax, and they all gasped dramatically. "We need to find an expert to tell us what they think." Ana suggested.

* * *

"So what do you think?" Asked Dipper.

"In my opinion: this is an ax." Soos handed him the ax.

Mabel's eyes widened. "Wait a minute. The lumberjack!"

"Of course!" Ana exclaimed as she put two and two together. "He was furious when he didn't get his free pizza..."

"Furious enough for... MURDER!" Mabel finished.

"Oh you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." Soos calmly said.

"Then that's where we're going."

"Dude, this is awesome. You guys are like: The Mystery Triplets."

Dipper glared at him. "Don't call us that."

The trio walked out of the gift shop and passed Grunkle Stan struggling to pull a coffin out of his trunk. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin will ya? I'm doin' a memorial for Wax Stan. Something small, but classic."

"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we have a big break in the case." Dipper said proudly.

"Break in the case." Mabel echoed.

"In fact, we're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer." Ana folded her arms across my chest.

"And we have an ax!" Mabel pulled the ax out of Dipper's backpack to prove her point.

"Hmm, this seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you to do... Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEEE!" He yelled after the kids as they began their journey into town.

A little bit later they were hiding outside a place called 'The Skull Fracture'. "This is the place." Dipper looked around the corner towards the entrance. "Got the fake IDs?" He asked Mabel, who handed both of her siblings one. "Here goes nothing."

They rounded around the corner and watched as the bouncer rejected a miner, saying that they didn't serve miners. They approached the bouncer. "We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack for the murder of Wax Stan." They showed him the fake IDs and Mabel shook hers to make the googly eyes jiggle.

He studied them for a couple of seconds before saying, "Works for me.", and letting the kids in. They entered the bar to see men fighting everywhere.

"He's resting." Mabel innocently stated as they stepped over an unconscious man and made their way over to the bar.

"Ana and I are going to go talk to Manly Dan. Just try to blend in, okay?"

"You got it, Dippingsauce!" Mabel sat down on a stool next to some biker.

Dipper and Ana turned away and made their way over to Dan who was arm wrestling with a machine. "I got this." Dipper whispered to his sister before talking a bit louder. "Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?"

Dan turned around. "Punchin' the clock."

"So you were at work?" Dipper asked.

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" He pointed towards a broken clock outside.

"10 o'clock... The time of the murder..." Dipper muttered. "So, I guess you've never seen THIS before?" He smoothly pulled the ax out of his bag to show Dan.

"Listen little girl!"

"Actually I'm a-"

"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax! It's left handed! I only use my right hand, THE MANLY HAND!" Manly Dan went back to beating up the machine while a guy in the corner began giggling and cheering him on. "Get 'im. Get 'im."

The two slowly backed up, then turned around to go find Mabel. She was still at the bar with the biker, but now they were very invested in a cootie catcher that Mabel had. "Mabel! Big break in the case! We gotta go!" Ana told her, grabbing her arm and following Dipper to the entrance.

Once we were outside, Dipper explained everything to Mabel. "It's a left handed ax." He showed the girls a list. "These are all of our suspects." He crossed Manly Dan off as right handed. "Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer!"

Mabel gasped. "Oh man, we are on FIRE today! Pazaw, pazaw, pazaw!"

"Let's go find our murderer." Dipper said, giving both of them a fist bump.

* * *

"Right handed. Right handed. Right handed." Ana muttered, crossing people off the list until she reached one final name at the bottom of the list. "Hey guys, there's only one person left on this list!" She showed them the name.

"Of course, It all adds up!" Mabel exclaimed.

* * *

Later that night, the triplets stood outside of a small building with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Idiot 1 (Blubs) turned to them. "You kids better be right about this or you'll never hear the end of it."

"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper reassured the officer, punching his fist into his palm.

"It's so irrefutable!" Mabel agreed.

Durland began go giggle like a little girl at a slumber party. "I'm gonna get to use my match stick."

Blubs giggled too and whispered, "You ready? You ready for this little fella?" Both of them cheered quietly, poking each other with their police batons.

Ana rolled my eyes. "Will you two stop acting like little kids and get back to the task at hand?!" She whisper-yelled. They immediately stopped and held their batons at the ready.

"Okay on 3." Dipper instructed. "1.2..." Idiot 2 gave a mighty battle cry and smashed through the door into a darkened room.

"NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A RAID!" Blubs yelled, entering after Durland. The rest of the group squeezed through the doorframe into a small apartment where their flashlights revealed none other than Toby Determined.

Determined fell out of his spiny chair in shock. "What is this? Some kind of raid?" He asked. Durland knocked a lamp off of a table with a derp.

"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan." Dipper accused.

Ana slipped on a pair of sunglasses and folded my arms across my chest. "You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." She said, coolly before giving both Mabel and Dipper a high-five.

Toby was shocked. "Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!"

"Then allow me to explain." Dipper interjected. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline." Mabel held up an article from Determined's newspaper that described the murder. "But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Mabel crumpled up the newspaper in her hand.

"Boy, your little knees must be sore... From jumping to conclusions! Hachacha!" Toby danced around the room for a bit. "I had nothing to do with that murder!"

"I knew it!" Dipper yelled. "Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?"

"Could you repeat?" Ana pulled her sunglasses off in disbelief.

"But all the evidence points to you!"

Blubs waited for them to quiet down before asking questions. "Then where were you the night of the break-in?"

"Ehh..." Toby shifted nervously for a couple of seconds before sighing. He shuffled over to his desk and pulled out a tape from one of the drawers. He popped it into a TV and we huddled around the screen.

The video began with Toby pulling a cardboard cutout from his closet. "Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!" Video Toby exclaimed before proceeding to kiss the cutout passionately, causing the kids to eww and look away disgusted.

"Time stamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." Blubs told Toby Determined.

"Hooray!" Toby yelled.

"But-but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" Dipper demanded.

"No prints at all." Blubs said.

"No prints?" Ana asked. "But there's got to be some prints cause both Mabel and Dipper held the ax..."

The adults in the room completely ignored her. "Hey, I got a headline for you: City Kids Waste Everybody's Time." Durland said, making the adults laugh and the kids blush.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you." Toby smiled smugly. Ana raised a brow and glanced back at the TV screen behind him, which was still playing the video of him making out with a cardboard cutout.

* * *

Sad funeral music filled the room as Stan walked to the front of the room where Soos had found the wax figures and addressed the crowd. "Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures. Thank you all for coming." Soos blew his nose into a tissue and began to sob quietly. Ana gave him a quick side hug to help calm him down. Stan rested his hand on the coffin. "Some people might say that it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

Soos jumped up abruptly. "They're wrong!" He sobbed.

"Easy, Soos." Stan soothed. "Wax Stan, I hope you're pickpocketing in wax heaven!" Stan choked up and wiped the corner of his eyes with his hand. "I'm sorry. I've got glitter in my eye!" He said, running out of the room with Soos right behind him.

Dipper sighed and crossed his arms. "Those cops were right about me."

"Dipper, we've come so far! We can't give up now!" Mabel encouraged him.

Dipper stood and walked over to the side of the coffin. "But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues." He sighed once again and looked inside the coffin. "Wax Stan has a hole in his shoe."

The girls got up and joined him next to the body. "All the wax guys have that." Mabel shrugged. "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy."

Dipper's eyes widened. "Wait a minute, what has a hole in its shoe and no fingerprints? Guys! The murderers are-"

"Standing right behind you." A clear, British voice cut through the room.

They froze, and slowly turned around. Dipper gasped. "Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?"

The wax famous rapper turned. "Sup, Holmes?"

Wax Lizzie Borden, the famous ax murderess, took the ax that we found from Mabel and fell back in line with all the other figures. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." Mabel hyperventilated.

"Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you."

* * *

Wax Holmes faced Dipper. "Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." He moved his cape to unveil Wax Stan's head. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." The wax figures began to applaud the three until Holmes cut them off. "Uh, no, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." The figures slowed down their claps. "There we go. Nice and condescending."

"But...how is this possible? You're made of WAX!" Ana motioned to Holmes's body.

"Are you... Magic?" Mabel asked.

Wax Holmes laughed. "Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic!" He slammed his arm onto the side of the coffin, trapping them. "We're CURSED!"

"Cursed. Cursed!" The others moaned.

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A HAUNTED garage sale, son!" Coolio chimed in.

"And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born." Holmes continued like Coolio hadn't said anything. "By day, we would be the playthings of man..."

"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night!"

Holmes sighed. "It was a charmed life for us cursed beings... That is, until your uncle closed up shop." His voice hardened. "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But we got the wrong guy."

Ana's eyes widened as she realized something. "Oh my gosh." She mumbled under my breath. "Mabel, if you hadn't modeled your statue after Stan, our uncle would be dead!"

Her eyes widened too. "You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!"

"Enough!" Wax Sherlock Holmes shouted. "Now that you know our secret, you must... die!" The wax figures growled like wild animals, and their waxy eyes rolled to the back of their heads like they were being possessed by some evil demon. They stumbled towards the kids with weapons raised as we began to back away.

"What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel muttered in panic.

"I don't know!" Dipper said, hitting a table. They were officially cornered. Ana glanced behind her towards the table where plates of bagels, muffins, and fruit and a pot of coffee sat along with four electric candles.

Dipper, Mabel, and Ana grabbed random food items and began attacking the approaching wax figures. It seemed hopeless until Dipper threw the coffee at one of the statues, causing it to scream in pain and melt.

"Wait a minute, of course! We can melt them with hot objects! Why didn't we think of this before?" Ana exclaimed, grabbing two of the electric candles. Dipper and Mabel followed her lead and grabbed the other candles.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Dipper warned.

"Decorative candles." Mabel added.

"You really think that you can defeat us?" Holmes scoffed.

They all answered at the same time. "I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure."

"It's worth a shot, I guess."

"If we die, at least we'll die fighting."

"So be it." Holmes said evilly. He turned towards the growling figures. "Attack!"

They began to close in on the trio, Wax John Wilkes Booth rushing at Ana. She twirled her two candles in her hands and quickly sliced through both his lower stomach and upper chest. He fell over and Ana quickly moved onto my next victim: Wax Queen Elizabeth II. Ana tried to stab her, but Elizabeth grabbed her arm before she could and began whacking the girl with a leg from one of the chairs. Ana stabbed her with her other candle, and turned around only to have Lizzie Borden swing her ax at her face. She ducked and proceeded to cut off Lizzie's legs. Ana stood up to see Dipper fighting Wax Sherlock Holmes with a poker from the fireplace while Mabel dealt with Edgar Allen Poe. She quickly ran over to her sister and stabbed Wax Poe from behind.

"Where's Dipper and Holmes?"

Mabel shrugged. "Dipper climbed out the window and Holmes followed him. We might want to go ahead and start cleaning up in here before Grunkle Stan notices."

Ana gathered up remains of the wax figures and began throwing them into the fireplace along which Mabel. "Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!" Wax Shakespeare's head warned the girls.

Mabel picked up the head. "Y'know any limericks?" She asked.

"Uh... There once was a dude from Kentucky..."

"Nope!" Mabel said cheerfully, tossing him into the fire. Dipper entered the room. "Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all!" Mabel cheered. Dipper pulled up a chair and grabbed Wax Stan's head off the wall (when did that get there?).

"Well I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks." He smiled wearily.

"No offense Dipper, but you and Ana are the sidekicks."

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?"

Ana laughed and playfully punched his arm. "She's just kidding... I think."

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor?!" We turned to see Grunkle Stan standing in the doorway.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Mabel said.

"I decapitated Larry King." Dipper admitted.

Stan laughed. "You kids and your imaginations!"

"On the bright side, we found Wax Stan's head." Ana told him as Dipper handed him the wax head.

"My head!" Stan exclaimed. "I missed this guy! You've done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!" He laughed, grabbed the kids, and gave them noogies, causing them to laugh.

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland drove up to the parlor window. "Uh oh. Don't look now but the idiots are back." Ana told everyone.

"Solve the case yet, boy?" Blubs taunted. "I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." He said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Dipper smirked. "Actually, the answer is yes." He held up Wax Stan's head for the officers to see.

Blubs was so shocked, that he actually spit a stream of hot coffee right into Durland's face. Durland screamed and spit coffee into Blubs' face, causing Blubs to scream and spit more coffee. "It burns! It burns!" Blubs yelled.

"My eyes!" They drove away, screaming.

The family laughed. "They got scalded!" Stan said.

"Those idiots deserved it." Ana muttered.

"So did you guys get rid of all the wax figures?" Dipper asked his sisters.

"I am ninety-nine percent sure that we did!" Mabel said.

Dipper shrugged. "Good enough for me."

**I really don't have anything to say considering that I just updated this like 2 hours ago. As always, thanks to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed this story. The next chapter is going to be one of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained.**


	4. Stan's Tattoo

**Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained: Stan's Tattoo**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch.**

"Mabel, is the camera ready?" Dipper asked his sister.

"It's ready!" She replied, holding up silver camera.

"Okay, let's roll."

"Wait!" Ana interrupted, handing Dipper a cardboard sign. "You almost forgot this, dum dum."

Dipper blushed in embarrassment. "Thanks, Ana. Okay, Mabel, NOW you can start."

Mabel laughed. "Hey bro bro, have you ever noticed how big your head is? If I was a giant, I could just squish your big head and…"

Dipper sighed in exasperation. "Just start the video, Mabel."

"Okay, okay, jeez." Mabel hit play, but started making squishing noises and pretending to squish his head as soon as the video started.

"Hello, I'm Dipper Pines." Dipper greeted the camera. "The girl behind me is Ana and the girl trying to crush my head is Mabel."

Mabel waved her hand in front of the camera. "I'm helping!"

"Today on _Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained_-" He started, but was cut off by Mabel squishing his head again. "Okay, that- that's enough." He waved her hand away. "Give the camera to Ana."

"Aw what?" Mabel complained, before passing the camera to her sister.

"Today, we investigate Anomaly #23, Grunkle Stan's secret tattoo." Dipper continued, walking over to a bulletin covered in pictures of Stan's tattoo. "What is he hiding? A college prank? Secret symbol? Or something stranger?" Dipper walked away from the board. "Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we're going to find out."

Mabel stepped in front of the camera, blocking Dipper. "Right after another exciting episode of _What's Under Mabel's Bandage?_" She exclaimed, revealing a pink band-aid on her elbow. "Do, da do doo", she sang, slowly pulling up the bandage.

"Ew, Mabel!"

* * *

"Okay, here's the plan. Stan never takes off his undershirt." Dipper got closer to the camera. "Obviously to hide his tattoo." He ran back to the wall and raised the temperature the thermostat. "But me and Soos are about to turn up the heat on this mystery."

Soos laughed. "Literally! I love how you come up with stuff like that." He whispered.

Soos walked up to Stan in the gift shop who was raising the prices of items in the gift shop. "Whoo, sure is hot in here today, huh, Mr. Pines." Soos paused and gave the camera hidden on the shelf a wink and a thumbs-up. "Probably be a lot cooler if we-" he took off his shirt and threw it behind the counter. "-worked without our shirts on!"

"Soos, I will _pay_ you to put your shirt back on." Stan continued working.

"Aw, don't be shy Mr. Pines." Soos grunted and hopped onto the counter. "Bodies are nothing to be ashamed of." He posed.

"Watch the shop for a minute, Soos. I need to find a melon-baller and pull my eyeballs out." Stan stood up and left the store.

Soos laid on the counter for a moment before sitting up and playing with his stomach. "Do, do do do do do. Do, do do do do.. hey! Da, da da da da da-"

* * *

"Okay, Plan B." Dipper pointed the camera towards Stan. "Heavens! Is that poison oak on your shoulder? Let me scratch that for you!" Dipper began reaching for the tattoo, but Stan knocked his hand away without even tearing his eyes from the TV.

"Kid, if you're trying to see my tattoo, you're gonna have to try harder than that."

"A-ha!" Dipper cried. "I thought you said that you didn't have a tattoo!"

"I don't. But you do." Stan replied, reaching for Dipper with a marker.

"What do you mean I- AHHHHH!"

* * *

Dipper stood outside the bathroom door with the word "GOOBER" written on his forehead in red marker. "Okay, Plan C. Stan is in the shower. I wish it hadn't come to this, but sometimes you have to do terrible things for science."

"I believe in you, Goober!" Mabel told him encouragingly, causing Ana to snicker.

"Dipper. Just say Dipper." He took a deep breath, grabbed the camera from Ana, and opened the bathroom door. He walked towards the running shower, rips open the curtain, only to see Stan standing there, fully dressed.

"You're never gonna see it, kid. _Never. Gonna. See it_."

"How long have you been standing there?" Dipper asked.

"Give me that camera!" Stan lunged, causing Dipper to scream and run out of the bathroom, and down the hall. Stan was only seconds behind, but ended up slipping on the slippery wood.

* * *

"So I just figured I'd just chill out on the roof for a while." Dipper told the camera.

"I'M GONNA FIND YOU KID!" Stan yelled in the background from inside. The crows in the woods were startled and flew away.

"Well, that's it for this episode. Stan's tattoo remains a mystery, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered." Dipper said before ending the video.

**Dude, I'm on a roll! Two episodes and a short in 24 hours. Of course the episodes were already written, but I needed to go back and change stuff. Thanks to everyone that reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story. The next chapter might take a bit longer because I haven't finished writing it yet, but yeah. See you all next time!**


	5. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

**The Hand That Rocks the Mabel**

**Disclaimer: Gravity Falls belongs to Disney and Alex Hirsch.**

It was a normal day at the Mystery Shack. Stan was outside ripping people off, while Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Ana slacked off and watched TV. "The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist." The show narrator said. The kids cheered as the _Tiger Fist_ logo appeared. The logo disappeared and was replaced with a tiger with a giant arm in a hospital room who began punching itself. "_Tiger Fist_ will return after these messages." The narrator interrupted.

Mysterious music began to play as the screen showed doves being released from someone's hands. "Hey look, it's that commercial I was telling you about." Soos pointed at the screen, where it now showed an actor crying on a bed.

"Are you completely miserable?" An unseen man asked.

"YES!" The actor sobbed.

"Then you need to meet... Gideon."

"Gideon?" Dipper asked. "What makes him so special?"

"He's a physic." The man answered. "So don't waste your time with other so-called 'man of mystery'." The commercial showing a video of Stan in his boxers coming out of an outhouse with the word 'FRAUD' stamped across it. "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy! Voidwhereprohibited,noC.O.D.' 'vealwayslovedyoubutneverhadthegutstosayit."

"Wow I'm getting all curiousy inside!" Mabel said.

"Well don't get too curiousy." Stan walked in and took off his jacket. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."

"Well is he really physic?" Mabel pressed.

"I think that we should find out." Dipper said.

"Never! You're forbidden from patronizing with the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof." Stan told them.

"Tents don't have roofs." Ana pointed out.

"I think we just found our loophole. Literally." Mabel held up a string with a loop in it. "Mwop mwop."

The commercial was still going. "So come down soon, folks! Gideon is expecting you."

* * *

"Step up right there, folks! Put your money in Gideon's physic sack!" The crowd 'ooo'ed and 'aaa'ed as people began stuffing cash inside a pouch held out by a bigger man wearing a pink Hawaiian flower shirt and a giant straw hat.

The kids and Soos ignored the crowd and entered the tent. "Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. Look, they even have their own Soos." Dipper marveled, gesturing towards a man holding a tool box that looked very similar to Soos. Soos glared at the lookalike and began munching on an empanada.

"It's starting! It's starting!" Mabel whispered excitedly. They found their seats just as the lights dimmed and a silhouette formed behind the curtain.

"Let's see what this monster looks like." Dipper said.

The curtains opened and a tiny kid wearing a baby blue suit with starch white hair appeared on stage. "Hello America! I'm Lil' Gideon!" The kid clapped twice and doves flew out of his hair causing the crowd to go wild.

"_That's_ Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper said in disbelief.

"But he's so wittle."

"I guess there's a reason why they call him _Lil'_ Gideon. " Ana whispered to Mabel.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! Such a gift! I have a vision. I predict that you will soon all say, 'aw'." The child physic turned his back towards the audience, and turned back around making a cute face. True to Gideon's 'vision' the crowd 'aw'ed.

Mabel gasped. "It came true." She whispered.

"What? I'm not impressed." Dipper whispered back.

"You're impressed." Mabel responded.

"Hit it, Dad!" Gideon pointed to the man who was collecting money earlier. Gideon untied the white cape around his neck and threw it into the crowd where it landed on some person's lap. The poor woman only had time to look down in awe at the cape before she was tackled by other Gideon fans.

"_Oh, I can see, what others can't see. It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability. Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined. And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!_" Gideon sang.

"Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!" He gestured for the crowd to stand up with his hand.

"Wha-? How did he-?" Dipper breathed, looking down at his feet. Ana looked down at her own feet and saw that she had stood up with the rest of the crowd without realizing it.

"Keep it going!" Gideon commanded his audience, drawing Ana's attention from the floor to the stage.

"_You wish your son would call you more._" Gideon pointed towards the only person sitting, an elderly lady surrounded by cats.

"I'm leaving everything to my cats!" She swore.

"_I sense that you've been here before._" He continued, turning to Sheriff Blubs.

"Oh what gave it away?" Blubs smiled, holding his Lil' Gideon merchandise close to his chest.

"Oh come on." Ana facepalmed.

Gideon leapt off the stage and paraded over to the row that the kids sat. "_I'll read your mind if I am able..._" He said, winking at Mabel. "_Something tells me you're named Mabel!_"

She gasped and set down her popcorn. "How'd he do that?" She asked her siblings.

Ana glanced down at her sweater which had her name sown onto it in big rainbow colored letters. "I have no idea."

"_So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy! And thanks for visitin'..._" He winked once again towards the crowd. "_Widdle ol' me!_" He held out the last note for a while as blue flames shot up from the floor and a giant light up sign with 'GIDEON' written in all capitals appeared behind the kid, causing the crowd, including Mabel, to cheer wildly.

"Oh... Oh my goodness." Lil' Gideon panted like he just ran a marathon. He grabbed a bottle of water from the inside of his jacket and chugged some of it down before addressing the audience. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

* * *

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous!" Dipper commented as they exited the tent after the very last act.

"Oh come on. His dance moves were adorable!" Mabel said. "Not to mention his hair. It was like, whoosh!" She added, moving her hand from her hairline to the back of her head in order to demonstrate the whoosh factor.

"You are too easily impressed." Dipper said, rolling his eyes a bit.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." They all laughed and continued their way to Soos' truck, unaware of the pair of eyes watching them.

* * *

The next morning, Dipper and Ana sat around the table with a couple of Pitt sodas, reading until Mabel walked up. "Check it out guys! I successfully bedazzled my face!" Ana glanced up from her book and sure enough, Mabel's face was covered in rhinestones. "Blink. Ow." She winced as a couple of the stones fell off her face.

"Is that permanent?" Dipper asked warily.

"I'm unappreciated in my time." She sighed just before the doorbell rung.

"Someone answer that door!" Stan yelled from the forbidden abyss aka his room.

"I'll get it!" Mabel yelled back at him, brushing off the rhinestones from her face. The other two kids heard her open the door, and then there was laughing, until finally she slammed the door shut.

Dipper and Ana enjoyed the silence that filled the house for a couple of seconds before Ana asked, "So who do you think Mabel left with?"

"Anyone's better than the gnomes." He answered nonchalantly, flipping the page of his Journal.

"But I can't shake the feeling that whoever Mabel just left with is up to no good." she said, fiddling with the llama necklace around her neck.

He sighed and set down his book. "Look, I'm sure she's fine."

"But what if she isn't?"

"Then we'll deal with it when the time comes." He said, picking up his book once again.

Ana thought about it for a few more seconds, before sighing and picking up her book. "I guess you're right. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Mabel walked into the living room a few hours later, and dangled her fingers over Dipper's head.

"Whoa, where've you been?" Dipper waved her hand out of his face and sat up. "And what's going on with those fingernails? You look like a wolverine."

"I know, right?" Mabel roared and pretended to scratch something with her nails. "I was just hanging out with my new pal, Gideon."

Ana looked up from her book. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean Gideon like the Gideon that Grunkle Stan hates with a burning passion?"

Mabel chuckled and nodded. "Yep, he is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head." Dipper interjected.

"Oh, leave him alone." Mabel frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "You two never want to do girly stuff with me; you and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time."

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked.

"Hey, dude, you ready to blow these hotdogs up in the microwave one at a time?" Soos ran in, holding a package of hotdogs.

"Do I?!" Dipper ran into the kitchen, leaving Mabel and Ana alone.

"I do girly stuff with you all the time, Mabel." Ana argued after the boys left. "Like, last night we read those magazines together, and last week we talked about your crush on Norman before we found out that he was a bunch of gnomes hiding under a hoodie."

Mabel sighed. "But we never do any _girly_ stuff like hair or makeup, 'cause you don't think that's fun."

"Oh come on, Mabes. We can totally do that stuff if you want."

Mabel's eyes lit up and she gasped. "I'm going over to Gideon's later. Why don't you come with me?!"

"Um what?"

"Come on, it'll be fun! We can hang out and do girly stuff, and you can meet Gideon. Please, please, please?" Mabel begged.

Ana stared into her sister's pleading eyes for a couple of seconds before relenting. "Okay, I'll go."

* * *

The two girls rode their bikes up a hill leading to a large warehouse surrounded by pine trees where a small boy stood waiting for them. "Hey, Gideon!" Mabel greeted the boy, giving him a quick hug. "This is my sister, Ana." Mabel turned towards her sister. "Ana, this is Gideon. I hope you don't mind me bringing her along." She said, turning back towards Gideon.

"No, no. It's a delight to meet you, Ana." The boy winked.

"Uh, hey. It's nice to meet you too." She replied awkwardly.

"So what do you want to do?" Mabel asked. "Make-overs? Dress-up?"

"Actually, I was thinking that we would go watch the sunset on the roof for a while." Gideon pointed towards a ladder leading to the roof.

"Oh okay cool." Ana said as they walked over to the ladder.

"Ladies, first." Gideon gestured towards the ladder with another wink.

The trio climbed up the ladder and sat down where they could all see the town below. "Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts!" Mabel exclaimed. "Good thing that we brought our-"

"Opera glasses!" Mabel and Gideon finished in unison. They giggled and pointed their glasses towards each other before looking at the town again.

"Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all of those little ol' people, I feel like I'm king of all I survey." He glanced over at Mabel. "I guess that makes you my queen."

"What?" Mabel said cluelessly. "You're being so nice to me right now, quit it!" She laughed, smacking his stomach playfully.

Gideon sighed. "I can't quit it. I'm speaking from the heart."

"From the where-now?" Mabel asked.

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close." He reached out and stroked her hair.

Mabel pushed his hand away. "Look, Gideon. I umm.." She glanced back at Ana who simply shrugged and shook her head slightly in confusion as Gideon reached again to stroke her hair. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends." She pushed his hand away again.

"At least give me a chance. Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?" He asked.

"A play date?"

Gideon shook his head.

"A shopping date?"

Gideon shook his head again. "It'll just be one lil' ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie." He swore, reaching towards the teal bolo tie around his neck.

"Umm…" Mabel looked back towards her sister, who once again shrugged. "Okay, then… I guess…"

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!" Gideon exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her.

"Are you sniffing my hair?" She asked, slightly creeped out.

* * *

"So basically, he guilt-tripped her into going on a date with him." Ana finished explaining as the triplets played a video game back at the Shack.

"It's not a date-date, it's just, you know. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I would throw him a bone." Mabel justified.

"Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you." Dipper warned her.

"Yeah, right. I'm not _that_ loveable." Mabel scoffed before shooting him in the game. "Kaboom! Yes!"

"Okay, we can agree on something here." Dipper deadpanned as the doorbell rang. Mabel got up to go answer it, and screamed. The other two siblings quickly got up and ran to the doorway to see what was wrong, seeing Gideon on a horse inside the house.

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!" Gideon said, reaching out for Mabel's hand.

"Oh boy." Mabel muttered under her breath.

* * *

A couple hours passed since Mabel and Gideon left on their date, and Dipper and Ana spent that time in the gift shop with Soos and Wendy. But the quiet didn't last very long as Stan stormed into the gift shop holding a newspaper in his hands.

"Hey, hey! What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" He asked, showing the four employees a picture of Gideon and Mabel on their date.

"Oh yeah, it's like a big deal. Everyone's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." Wendy informed him.

"WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great-niece?!"

Soos looked up from his magazine. "I wonder what the new name will be for the new power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel?" He gasped. "Magidbeleon!"

Stan growled, throwing down the newspaper and storming out of the gift shop and back into the house. "I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to!" Dipper called after him.

Stan re-entered the gift shop, now wearing his suit. "Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is going to stop RIGHT now!" Stan raged and slammed the door behind him.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door?" Soos chuckled and opened the door. "Nope. Real door."

* * *

"Hey. How'd it go?" Asked Dipper as Mabel walked into the Shack.

"I don't know…" She sighed, walking over to the fish tank and dropping a lobster inside. "I have a lobster now."

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again." Dipper reassured her. Mabel didn't reply or turn around. "Mabel? It's over right?" Mabel said nothing, causing her siblings to look at her with concern. "Mabel?" Dipper asked once again, this time sounding sterner.

"BLAARRGG!" She turned around, failing her arms. "He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no."

"Like this: no."

"It's not that easy, Dipper! And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I just need to get things back to how they used to be. You know, friends."

* * *

Ana and Dipper walked towards the attic after dinner, planning on reading until Mabel came home with news about her date, but were stopped when they saw her pacing in the living room and muttering to herself. "...I mean, he's so nice, but… I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart. I have no way out!"

"Woah, what the heck happened on that date?" Ana asked, entering the room, Dipper just seconds behind her.

"I don't know. I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quicksand!" Mabel latched onto Ana's t-shirt. "Chubby quicksand!"

Ana detached herself from her sister's grip. "It's okay Mabel. It's not like you're gonna have to marry him or something."

Stan entered the room. "Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!"

"WHAT?!" She screamed.

"It's all part of my long-term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt!" He gestured down to his _Team Gideon_ t-shirt. "Ugh, I am fat."

Mabel screamed and ran out of the room in horror, not able to handle the pressure.

"Bodies change, honey. Bodies change…" Stan called after her. Dipper and Ana exchanged a look before following her out of the room and upstairs to the attic.

"Oh no, Mabel…" Dipper sighed, and crouched down next to the slender form hidden inside a sweater.

"Mabel's not here." Mabel said, her voice slightly muffled due to the sweater. "She's in sweater town."

"Are you going to come _out_ of sweater town?" He asked gently. Mabel whined and shook her head. "Alright, enough is enough. If you can't break up with Gideon, Ana and I will do it for you."

She poked her head out of her sweater. "You will?"

Dipper and Ana nodded. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Mabel cried, throwing her arms around her siblings.

* * *

Dipper and Ana entered _The Club_, a fancy restaurant that Mabel was supposed to meet Gideon at. After a couple of seconds of searching, Ana nudged Dipper and pointed over towards a table. "There he is." The siblings walked over to the table. "Hey, Gideon." Ana said.

Gideon set down the menu that he was holding. "Ana and Dipper Pines, how are you? You both look good, you both look good."

"Thank, you uh… Look, Gideon, we need to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, she uh, she doesn't want to see you anymore." Dipper laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "She's uh. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."

Gideon's eye twitched. "So what you're sayin' is…you've…come between us." He said, trying to keep his voice calm. His eye twitched again.

"No, that's not what we're saying at all." Ana interjected quickly. "Mabel considers you as a great friend, but unfortunately, that's all you'll ever be to her. Um, you're not going to like, get mad or anything, right?" She asked, studying his facial expression.

His face relaxed. "Of course not. These things happen. Bygones, you know." He smiled.

"So, okay. Cool. Then again, sorry man, but, uh, hey. Thumbs up." Dipper gave him a thumbs up and backed away, walking out of the restaurant with Ana.

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your minds with his physic powers?" Mabel asked as soon as they walked up to her.

"Don't worry, Mabel. He's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers." Dipper reassured her as the trio walked to Soos's truck.

* * *

The next day was another normal day. Stan was leading a tour group through the Shack, leaving the triplets and Soos to their own devices. Soos tucked a pillow under his shirt. "Hit me, dudes." He challenged.

The triplets charged at Soos, but they all bounced off of his stomach, laughing. "Feels good." Soos commented.

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal!" Mabel said as the phone rang inside the gift shop.

"Your turn." The girls said in unison.

"Your turn." Dipper finished the sentence about a second later. "Aw man…" He complained, getting up to go answer the phone.

"Hit me again, girl dudes." Soos said, causing the girls to charge at him and bounce off again.

"Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh! Guys!" Dipper ran out of the gift shop. "Toby Determined just called and he wants to do an interview with me about the mysteries of Gravity Falls!"

"Dude, that's awesome!" The group congratulated him.

"Can I come with?" Ana asked.

Dipper shrugged. "Sure, why not. Mabel, do you want to come?"

Mabel shook her head. "Nah, you two go have fun."

"Okay then, be ready at 6:30." Dipper informed his sister.

* * *

"Why would Toby Determined want to have an interview in a warehouse?" Ana asked as the two of them walked up the hill towards it.

"I don't know. He's weird." Dipper answered, checking his notebook to see if he had the right address. "This is it."

Ana looked around the place. "I don't know why, but this place looks really familiar."

Dipper opened the warehouse door, and entered with Ana. "Hello?" he asked into the darkness. No one responded. Dipper and Ana turned around to leave, but the door slammed shut.

They ran over to the door, banging on it until the lights started flicking to life. They turned to see an oversized swivel chair sitting in the middle of the room, which contains Gideon Gleeful holding a doll of himself.

"Hello friends." He greeted creepily. Gone were the winks and friendly smiles.

"Ugh, Gideon." Dipper groaned in annoyance and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Dipper and Ana Pines." He said nonchalantly, playing with the doll in his lap. "How long have you two been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"

"What do you want from us, man?" Dipper asked.

"Listen carefully. This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend."

"Is this about Mabel?" Dipper interrupted. "We told you, she is not into you!"

"LIAR!" Gideon yelled. "YOU turned her against me!" Gideon stood up and reached for his bolo tie. "She was my peach dumplin'!"

"Are you okay, Gideon?" Ana asked in concern. Gideon glared at them and all of a sudden, Ana and Dipper were slammed into a bunch of Lil' Gideon merchandise.

"Readin' minds isn't all I can do." Gideon loomed over the two.

"But-but you're a fake!" Dipper stammered.

"Oh tell me Dipper, is this fake?" Gideon asked, levitating objects and throwing them at the boy.

Dipper gasped and quickly grabbed his sister's hand, pulling her to safety while dodging different merchandise. Gideon laughed evilly and moved a cabinet to smash the siblings, but they dodged it and ended up hitting the wall instead.

Ana rubbed her head in pain. "Grunkle Stan was right about you. You are a monster!" She yelled at the younger boy.

"Your sister will be mine!" Gideon cackled, pulling the string on his doll to do the same.

Dipper glanced around him, before spying a baseball bat. "Who's a cute little guy? You are!" Gideon told the doll in his hand. "No you are!" The doll responded.

Dipper picked up the baseball bat and charged at Gideon with full force. However, Gideon turned from the doll before Dipper could hit him and levitated him out of the way. "She's never gonna date you, man!" Dipper struggled against his physic bonds.

"That's a lie! And I'm gonna make sure that you _never_ lie to me again, friend." Gideon levitated a pair of lamb shears.

"HEY! Let go of him!" Ana yelled, running towards Gideon with the bat that was dropped. Gideon waved his hand at her, and slammed her into the opposite wall with his powers.

All of a sudden, the door slammed open. "Gideon! We need to talk." Mabel said from the doorway.

"M-Mabel, my marshmalla." Gideon stammered and dropped the shears. "What are you doin' here?" Ana groaned and stood up, leaning on the wall for support.

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

"I-I don't understand." Gideon gripped his bolo tie, squeezing Dipper.

"Uh, Mabel?! I don't think that this is the best time to be brutally honest with him!" Dipper choked.

Mabel ignored him and walked over to Gideon. "Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?"

"Really?" Gideon asked.

"No, not really!" Mabel grabbed the bolo tie off from Gideon's neck causing Dipper to fall. "You were like, attacking my siblings, what the heck?!"

"My tie!" Gideon reached for Mabel's hand. "Give it back!"

Mabel threw the tie to Dipper. "Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?" Dipper held the tie in front of him.

Gideon screamed in rage and charged towards Dipper, making him drop the amulet and crash through the window.

"DIPPER!" The girls yelled, running over to the window and looking out of it to watch the two boys tumble into the darkness.

"Quick, Mabel, you gotta stop them from hitting the ground!" Ana told her sister, who was holding the amulet in her hand.

Mabel grabbed onto the tie tightly, before grabbing Ana's hand and stepping out of the window. To Ana's relief, they floated, along with the two boys barely inches away from the ground. Mabel levitated herself and Ana to the ground. "Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever date you."

"Yeah!" Dipper agreed before Mabel dropped them. But before Gideon could try to get his amulet back, Mabel threw it against a rock, shattering it into hundreds of pieces.

"MY POWERS!" Gideon yelled. He stood up and glared at the triplets. "Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle ol' me!" He threatened them, backing creepily into the woods.

The trio glanced at each other. "Seriously, what is with that kid and saying wittle ol' me?" Ana asked.

* * *

The kids sat on the couch watching _Tiger Fist_ when Stan walked through the front door with a clown painting. He silently hung it up in the living room before sighing, "I coulda had it all." He glanced over at his nieces and nephew. "What the heck happened to you three?"

"Gideon." Mabel sighed.

"Gideon." Ana groaned in pain.

"Gideon." Said Dipper.

"Gideon." Stan growled in annoyance. "Yeah, the little mutant swore vengeance on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'." Stan laughed.

"Oh, yeah." Dipper sat up. "Yeah, how's he gonna to destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" Dipper laughed.

"He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of. NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a negative number!" Mabel exclaimed, causing the whole family to erupt in laughter.

"Uh oh! He's plannin' on destruction right now!" Stan joked, laying on top of the triplets, making them all laugh again.

* * *

Unknown to them, in the Gleeful household, Gideon sat at a desk playing with a small replica of the Mystery Shack. He picked up a wooden doll wearing a purple sweater. "Gideon, I still love you. If only my family weren't in the way." He said in a high pitched voice.

He set the Mabel doll down and grabbed another one, dropping his voice. "Look at me. I'm old and I'm smelly."

Once again, he set down the doll and picked up one with long brown hair. "My name's Ana and I'm sooooooooo cool."

He grabbed the final doll and finished painting a face on it. "Hey, whatcha gonna without your precious amulet?" He asked in a dumb voice.

Gideon switched back to his normal voice. "Oh, you'll see boy…" He turned to the open book next to him and closed it, revealing a golden hand with a 2 written on it. "You'll see…"

**Annnddd done with chapter 5! My winter break is almost over, so I am just going to warn my new readers that I don't really have a set time of when new chapters are going to be posted. I don't have a whole lot of free time when I'm juggling school and extracurriculars, so I apologize if I don't get chapters posted as soon as you'd like. Anyways thanks to everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed this story****J****.**

_**Big Dragon Rebel Girl: 1. Okay: so what's Ana's special symbol? Dipper's the pine tree, Mabel's the shooting star, what's Ana? 2. Wait, when the finale come out for you? Cuz for me it came just yesterday!**_

**Ana has a llama necklace that she wears all the time, so therefore, I made her the llama. I love Pacifica to death, I really do, but I already had this plan in place before it was revealed in the finale that Pacifica was the llama. But I'll probably work that "touch the hillbilly" joke into Weirdmaggedon 3 when I write it. Also, the finale came out on the 15****th**** for me.**

_** .52: omg! love this story so far! also, just a quick question… HOW WILL ana react to bill cipher? will there be love at first sight maybe? but on which end? or will there be received feelings? sorry! i'm overthinking things that haven't (or might not) happen yet!**_

**Hey! I'm glad that you like my story so far, and honestly, I love it when fans kinda overthink things about future plot points cause that shows that they like the story. Onto your question: Ana does not like Bill in any way nor will she ever like him, considering the fact that Bill has (or rather, will) tried to harm her and her family multiple times. And Bill doesn't have any romantic feelings towards Ana either, but he does find it fun to annoy her from time to time, and if he does ever flirt with her (idk if he will, I haven't figured that part out yet), he'll only do it to annoy her. But if you want to ship them together, that's totally cool.**


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